You Only Live Once [Completed]

Chapter 8

+I don't have the heart to talk to Levi right now, but I need some reassurance from Natalie. I grab the portable phone from the hall and dial her number.

"Nat?" I say, voice cracked. "I have an issue."

"Mm...go on." She murmurs, distracted.

"Levi's cheating or cheated on me. Melissa told me."

She's silent for a long, long time.  So long that I'm starting to think she's not on the other end anymore.

"Yeah, he did." She says slowly. "He wasn't drunk, but I was very drunk."

I bite my lip, confused. "What do you mean?"

Again, another long pause. I'm starting to think Natalie knows more than anyone else and she's trying to keep it secret.

"I can't lie to you, Hayden. Levi cheated on you, with me." She says. "I'm sorry, but don't blame it all on me...I was very, very drunk."

"I can't believe you!"

I hang up and throw the phone on my bed. I can't believe her, I can't believe Levi. I can't believe both of them would do this to me, I'm so hurt that it's beyond repair. My supposedly best friend allowed my player of a boyfriend to cheat on me. I open my laptop and there's an email waiting from Levi.

Hayden,

  Would you like to go to the first ever open mic night with me at Vanilla Beans Tuesday evening? I love you.

-Levi

It takes all my willpower not to send him an email of profanities.

Levi,

That sounds fine. So I have three days? Don't talk to me until then, got it? If you really loved me...well, let's just say I have a lot to talk to you about.

~Hayden

It's not easy knowing your boyfriend cheated on you, without telling him straight up. I don't know whether to stay with Levi or to break up with him. I don't know how I will forgive him if I decide to stay with him, it's mind twisting. I loved him so, so much and to have him not return the feeling is horrible. My heart's dropped to my knees and I know what I need to do, even if it's going to kill me.

"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Mom asks.

She sits on the edge of my bed, where I'm surrounded by kleenex's. My eyes are sore and puffy, no doubt that my nose is pink too.

"Not great." I answer truthfully. "He cheated on me with Nat."

Mom's hazel eyes look like they're about to pop out of their sockets. They're wide and angry.

"How could she do such a thing to you? You need to cut ties with Levi as soon as possible."

"I can't really blame her, Mom. She was quite drunk and you do stupid things when you're drunk. But the fact that she hadn't told me for days makes me angry with her." I say. "But Levi on the other hand, he's a backstabber. I'm not sure if I'm done with him yet or not."

The fact that we had been intimate makes it all the more harder to let him go. But, I know Mom's right but I'm not sure what's exactly right for me.

"I brought you something," Mom says at last. "It's your old journal, it might help to write what you're feeling in it."

What's it like to know the one you love doesn't feel the same? It feels terrible, I'm torn in half right now between continuing to love Levi or just letting him go. It's a horrible feeling, I've fallen for Levi so quickly and now to try and get myself out of that. Well, I'm going to have a lot of war wounds and a very broken heart. I'm going to Vanilla Beans with him Tuesday night and I have a feeling I'm going to lose it. It's not going to be pretty, I can say that much. My whole body aches with what I'm going to have to do, to say, on Tuesday. Screw you, Levi...I'm learning to despise you now.

~Hayden

If I could go back into the past and change anything, I think it would be accepting the ride from Levi months ago. In the future, I'm going to tell my children about Levi and how to never, ever go out with someone like him. Every kiss I've ever shared with Levi was infected with poision. It's deadly; a disease. I had intentionally tried to change Levi, but in order for someone to change, they've got to want to.

I'm just going to take life day by day and hope that one day, I'll find a cure for this disease called love. If there's a will, there is a way.