Chaos|فوضى

Alone

...

Why is everything so hard for me? I really try to do my best, I'm trying to change but I'm still stuck in the same shit as years ago, this road is lonely, I feel empty.

How am I supposed to continue when I'm all alone in this scary world? I have friends, but at the end of the day I only have myself, and I hate it. I feel so worthless, so sad and I feel like I'm never gonna find a way to be happy with this sadness that is keeping me away from what I really want. I'm bleeding, I can't barely feel what it's to be happy.

Is this even real? Where am I going? Is it worth to keep fighthing? My demons are much bigger than I thought, I thought that it was over, but I was wrong, as always, they are always around me, and the worst part of this is that I forgot how to live without pain and darkness. I have suffered in silence for lots of years, and now I'm lost and I don't know how to get to the surface, I'm drowning, and It seems like I don't know how to swim