Rogue

Chapter 17

J's P.O.V

I open one of my eyes, peaking to make sure it was morning. All I see is gry skies so I close it with a huff blowing out of my snout.

It was raining.
I hate rain.

Eventually, I force my eyes open and look at the pouring sky that wet all of the forest through the view of my cave.

I'm cold - Roger whines and I growl lowly. It was too early to deal with Roger.

I'm not cold - I reply, shaking my body a bit to shift the heat of my thick fur.

Well I am - He growls back. I'm cold and tired and hungry, we're lying on fucking rocks. I want a blanket.

What's a blanket? - I ask, giving into my curiosity.

Goddess have mercy - He sighs.

When Roger got like this, I learned to ignore him. He would talk a lot and use words I didn't understand, but they sounded like angry words. He'd keep yelling until he got tired, then he'd shut up for a couple minutes before starting back up again.

Against my will, my head made me think of Levi. The thought of him made every part of me hurt, it was like I was being attacked by multiple wolves who were digging their claws deep inside of me. I knew it hurt to think of him, but I did it anyway.
I think of his wet face and his broken sounds. I think of his pain so then I feel pain. I bury my head a little further, trying to hide from the bad thoughts.

I didn't like thinking of hurt Levi, it made me hurt too.

Trying to forget it, I look up at the grey sky, it was getting a little brighter now and there was less rain.

I wonder if Levi hated rain too. I wondered what he was doing now, if he felt the pain like I did. Was he sad like I was? Did he want to see me again too?

I quickly shake my head and stand to my feet, he would choose them not me. He'd leave me again and I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to be without him, but it seemed like that was the way it would always end up.

I made my way out of the cave, the sun was coming out now and made the wet grass and rocks look a bit more shiny.

Are we going hunting?! - Roger shouts loudly, the volume scaring me a bit.

Shut up Roger! - I shout but it sounded like a whine.

.... I just wanted something to eat - he mumbles quietly and something inside me almost felt guilty but I buried it immediately.

If you want to eat so badly, you hunt - I say giving in a bit.

Finally! - He shouts again but beforr I could yell at him he pushed his way to the foreground and I felt myself sinking back.

I closed my eyes and enjoyed the way it felt to sink into my truest form. 8 could feel the wind in my fur, soak in the wetness of the dirt in my paws, smell every creature that dared to breathe in my presence.

I felt alive and I loved it, I just wished he was here to share it with me.

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When I retook control and let Roger rest, the sun was setting and the clifftop I was laying at let me watch the entire thing.

I liked sunsets. I think I always liked them, it reminded me of the flames in my mind. Flames which seemed to burned brighter whenever Levi was around.

He made me feel different inside, taught me new things, things I think I knew before. Sometimes when I looked into his eyes, I thought I'd seen them before. It was strange, but everything with him was strange....and different, but it felt good inside.