Back to the Start(nalu)

3- Aftermath

-1 week later-

The room is completely silent except for the sounds of the clock on the wall ticking continuously.

The urge to get up from this bed and slam my fist into the glass face of that clock is strong, but I don't have enough motivation to overpower my want to stay in this bed.

Ever since I got back I've been lying in this bed almost the entire time.

I just can't seem to make myself stand up.

People keep telling me I should go to the guild, that seeing everybody would make me feel better but I can't go to the guild. The last time I went there was already painful enough.
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The guild is rowdy, just as always. I can hear the laughter and yelling from outside the door. Usually it would give me energy and make me laugh, but today it only makes me want to go in there and make them all shut up. I can't stand this noise right now.

I kick the door open with my foot because in both my arms is Lucy, her lifeless body heavy with dead weight.

The door hits the wall with a bang and everyone's attention gets drawn to me as I step into the guild.

"Natsu, you're ba-"

Mira's voice cuts off as she sees the body in my arms and her hands go to her mouth. Tears build up in her eyes and a hush travels through the room.

"H-how-"

A sob breaks out from the back of the room and Levy falls to her knees and cries.

I turn my head down and avoid eye contact with everyone in the room.

Everything seems to stay silent as everyone sits there and processes the situation that has just occurred. I can hear the sounds of some of them crying and some of them just sit with their heads down in silence.

I keep my head down and close my eyes. My arms start to tire and Lucy seems to start getting heavier and heavier. The overwhelming grief in the room seems to weigh down on me. Beads of sweat start forming on my forehead and my arms start to tremble.

It's all my fault.

It's all my fault.

All of this sadness and grief is happening because of me. It shouldn't be happening. Lucy should be a bright light in this room, her smile shining as it always did.

"Natsu."

I flinch and I open my eyes in front of me to see a red eyed Erza. She holds both of her arms out in front of her.

"Let me take her."

My hands tighten around Lucy and I take a partial step back.

A tear falls silently down her cheek and she takes a small step forward.

"It's okay, Natsu."

My hands relax and I slowly lean Lucy into Erza's arms and she takes her easily.

Erza closes her eyes for a moment after Lucy falls completely into her arms and lets out a shaky breath before opening them and looking at me. I can tell that she's trying to be strong for me. She's always taken care of me like she was my sister but right now it isn't working.

The weight of the grief and guilt in this room still weigh down on me. It shouldn't be like this. This isn't how this should have gone.

Before Erza has a chance to react I've turned and run out of the doors.
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Instead of running to my own home, I ran to Lucy's.

I thought that if I was here I would feel better, being surrounded by her smell, but it only makes it even more lonely.

People keep visiting me, checking to see if I'm alright.

I'm sick of it.

Gray, Happy, Wendy, Erza...

I'm not alright. I just want to be left alone.

Her funeral's today.

In an hour actually, but here I am, sitting on her bed with no plans on moving for who knows how long.

I'm just waiting for someone to come knocking on the door. They always do. They definitely will today as the time draws closer to her funeral and I'm still nowhere to be seen.

This shouldn't have happened. This shouldn't be happening.

We should have come home from the mission together...alive. Walking through the guild doors should have been our normal routine.

I close my eyes and picture how it should have been...how I desperately wish it would have been.
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"We're back!"

"Natsu, don't slam the door!"

"Ow, Lucy!"

"Hmmp! Oh, hey Mira!"

"How was the job?"

"Natsu blasted a hole through somebody's shop so just like usual...."
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Just like usual.

Why wasn't it just like usual?

I shouldn't be sitting here in this bed. She'd be yelling at me and telling me to get out.
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"This isn't your house, Natsu! You have your own house!"

"Yeah but mine is no fun."

"Ughh....fine. But you sleep on the couch."
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A knock sounds at the door and my thoughts get cut off.

I groan in annoyance and put a pillow over my head to block out the noise.

"Natsu, we know you're in there. Open the door."

I sigh in defeat and throw the pillow on the floor before making my way to the door.

I swing the door open and am not surprised to see Gray and Erza waiting there, both dressed in all black.

They both walk in and I'm surprised to see a third person walk in the room.

"Loke?"