Back to the Start(nalu)

14- Loneliness and Hope

Lucy looks down to her lap in embarrassment and shakes her head.

"No problem, really. I just didn't think you guys had any food packed and I didn't want anyone to get hungry."

Happy nods his head enthusiastically.

"Yup! We didn't pack any food."

She chuckles a little bit and then looks from Happy to me.

"So, what's Fairy Tail like?"

My eyes glance instinctively to her right hand which is bare of the guild mark that she'll undoubtedly have placed there.

My mouth opens and closes and my eyes brows crease in thought. I chuckle nervously.

"Where do I even begin?"

This is harder than I thought.

I could answer this how I would have back then...

Oh man am I glad that I never answered this question back then. I can imagine what I'd say.

"There's this crazy monster there named Erza and this bastard Gray who is always picking fights with people. Gramps is pretty cool though..."

I gulp in embarrassment at the thought and choose to go a different route.

"It's rowdy. It's always rowdy."

"You can thank yourself for that."

I give a pointed look to Happy to hush him up and he sticks his tongue out at me.

"It's true."

I roll my eyes.

"Anyways...the guild is always lively and full of noise. Whatever time you go in there's always somebody there."

Lucy smiles softly and stares down at her lap.

"I bet that's nice."

I watch her intently, taking in every detail.

"Everybody's unique in their own way, but yet everybody is super close. Everybody there is part of the family, and we'd do anything to protect our family."

I watch her to see if my words affect her in any way, to see if it makes her happy.

"Once you become a member of Fairy Tail, you'll always be a member. No matter what you choose to do or what path you take, we'll always have your back."

I pause, eager to hear her response.

"It sounds even better than everything I've read or seen about it."

I nod and smile, unable to contain myself.

"It is. You'll love it."

She bites her lip and her eyes fall to her lap. She brings her hand up and brushes her hair behind her ear.

My smile falls and I get ready to open my mouth to ask what's wrong when her eyes look back up and meet mine. Her gaze stops my movements instantly and my mouth closes.

Tears brim at her eyes and a trembly smile forms on her face.

"Thank you, Natsu, for taking me to FairyTail."

The air gets caught in my throat and my hand starts to shake.

I didn't notice it back then, but it's unmistakable now.

I can see the loneliness swirling in her eyes. All of this talk about family makes her lonely nights so much worse.

She's so happy though. I can see the eagerness in her eyes to go to Fairy Tail, and I think that that's one of the things that has kept her going through all the lonely nights...the hope that there is more. That's one of the reasons I liked her back then. She's not one to back down from a fight.

I just wish that I could have met her sooner to cut her lonely nights short...

I glare at my hands.

Not that it would have mattered.

Lucy still ends up dying in the future and that wouldn't change anything.

I just have to do what I can to save her.

I watch her as she finishes her sandwich. Once she takes the last bite I stand up.

"Let's get going now. We'll be there in a few hours."

I grab my small bag from the ground and open the flap. Happy tosses me his blanket and I shove it into the bag without any order. My hand bumps against a bunch of objects.

"I can't wait to be able to sleep in an actual bed."

I smile to myself at Lucy's remark.

I start to take my hand out of my bag, when a terrible feeling of foreboding shakes through me and causes my muscles to tense. I slowly lift my head up to look over at Lucy and a pit grows in the bottom of my stomach.

A blink of the eyes.

A single blink and the bright light that shone in rays through the leaves and ran across Lucy's skin disappear. The comforting aroma of a tasty breakfast gets swept away. The sweet sounds of Lucy's voice fade away leaving an emptiness in its wake.

The light gets replaced by the dark. Everything is cast in shadow, no light strong enough to cover the surroundings below the trees. The smell of food gets replaced by the sickening smell of blood to the point that I almost gag when it attacks my nose. The sweet sounds of Lucy's voice drifting through the air get cut off by the sound of a cough.

My eyes focus in on Lucy, who's no longer folding her blanket neatly and is instead standing, with her hands clutching onto her stomach. Blood drips down her hands and over the pink guild mark that's on her right hand.

"No..."

My body freezes, every muscle in my body going rigid.

Lucy looks at me with fear in her eyes and she takes a stumbly step forward.

"N-Natsu?..."

How?

How did this happen?

Lucy stumbles on her feet but manages to stay standing. Something inside of me keeps my feet stuck in their spot. I close my eyelids tight and tighten my hands into fists.

Take me back.

Give me another chance.

"Take me back."

"N-n-na-"

Her voice fades out and a quiet groan of pain follows the sound of a thump.

My eyes shut tighter and my nails dig crevices in my skin. I force myself to keep my eyes shut, shielding myself from the scene in front of me.

It's not happening. I just have to go back again and make it right this time.

I'll make it right this time.

I will.

Just take me back again...

The ground seems to disappear from my feet and then I'm left falling. I fall with my eyes closed to keep from seeing the scene I left behind.

It doesn't matter. It didn't happen.

All that matters is the place that I'm heading now and my actions that follow.

I fall for a while, but eventually, I land somewhere...and the sound of a horn going off blares through my head.