Police officer's love story

Part 14

They were looking at each other forgetting everything else for a moment, when Neeta lowered her eyes unable to bear the intensity. They stood silent for a minute and she got a doubt suddenly.

'Raj! You never told me anything about your girlfriends.'

'There is no one to tell you about. You know that I was never comfortable with girls.'

'But, you are okay with me.'

'That is different.'

'Why?' she asked him, and she heard a sharp intake of his breath.

He decided to be honest with her-'I don't know. Since the day I met you, I never felt that you are a stranger to me. There is some kind of connection which pulled me towards you. It can't be explained but I just felt it. I can just be myself with you.'

'Raj, if you run away from all the girls, how can you get married? You need someone to share your life.'

'I have you,' he looked at her with such deep intensity, that she forgot to breathe for a moment.

'What do you mean?' she was shocked with his reply.

'I mean you can select someone for me'- he lightened the atmosphere but she felt that his eyes were hiding something.

'Okay. Tell me .What do you want in your wife?'

He looked at her ---Hmmm....'she should be high school dropout, preferably not working, should be interested in TV serials but not news. She should like miniskirts, she should never scold me, when I fell sick, she should never ask me to eat khichdi '....he was about to say more when Neeta smacked on his arm hardly.

'I am serious and you are teasing me. Go, find her yourself. I am leaving' she sulked.

Raj caught her hand and pulled her back. They were a bit closer to each other now." What if I can find her myself?"

"Okay. Do it. Then why did you ask me. I won't interfere in your matters from now."

'You have all rights to interfere in my life Neeta,' he said in a sincere tone.

She still stayed silent."Okay. Leave it. Tell me about yourself .what do you want in your husband? He asked her.

'Stop it Raj. I don't want to marry anyone. Love is not possible for me'- her tone suddenly turned serious.

'But,why Neeta? Do you want to be alone always? Don't you want to love someone? Want someone to love you? Share your life with them?'

'Love!' she looked at him strangely. 'I am okay without it in my world and not everyone are lucky enough to get true love and anyway unconditional love is not a reality. People always expect something from their partner. If their partner can't give them what they want, slowly love evaporates and changes to resentment.'

'What if someone comes in your life one day and says that you mean the world to me and I can't live without you?'

'Nobody will come. Don't worry about it.'

He turned her towards him placing his hands on her shoulder. 'If some body falls for you truly, madly and deeply then, then what Neeta? Then, what will you do?' his deep voice became highly intense and his eyes never left her for even a second.

She took back a step involuntarily.'I...' She lowered her eyes a bit and took a deep breath. I will say that, 'Don't fall in love with me. You won't get anything,' she replied looking straight into his eyes and both of them stood still for a few seconds before she turned away from his side, looking at the night sky filled with stars.

Raj too stayed silent and looked outside, her words still echoing inside him.

Something is changing. She is a bit shaken up with the intensity of Raj's feelings towards her. Their equation is moving to some other road which she is trying to avoid. She tried to change the topic.

'Raj! In future if you get married, what will you do if your wife objects to our friendship?'

Raj was surprised at her abrupt question. 'Why would she?' he asked looking at her intently.

'No woman likes her husband to care so much for some other girl' she replied.

'Then, I will listen to my wife' he teased her.

She averted her face from him. 'It is the right thing to do,' her voice was a bit low now.

Raj turned her towards him and touched her cheek- 'Neeta, I was just joking. I can never distance myself from you, for anything or anyone. You are very very important to me-you know that right!'

'People change Raj. Today I am important for you, tomorrow someone else might come and there is no wrong in that-life partner always comes first before friends.'

He sensed some kind of pain in her words. He felt as though some invisible barrier rose between them suddenly.

'Neeta! Why are you talking like that? Did I do something wrong?'

She gave him a weak smile but her face turned a bit sad-She averted her eyes from him. What kind of stupidity is this? She knows that one day he will belong to someone else and slowly, will be distanced from her. It was always in the back of her mind but she ignored it. The way he cared for her-she felt scared that how attached she was becoming to him in such a short span of time. He is becoming very special to her but where will they go from here-nowhere. Why to create more memories when she knows that they will hurt both of them later.

She understood that Raj is not the one who takes relationships lightly and move on quickly. A sudden thought came to her and she shivered. Is he falling in love with her? What is she doing-encouraging him on this road—did she want it subconsciously? God! This is not right. How can she do this to Raj? How selfish she has become? She is trying to hide behind the mask of friendship.Why did she not listen to her intuition that this is heading somewhere else?

The way, he looked at her, cared for her, the importance he gave to her, the amount of time they are spending with each other— she found it difficult to breathe—what has she done? Her hand gripped the railings harder. A small metal piece pierced her finger and she winced a bit. She looked down and saw that a few blood drops fell on the railing. She just looked at them with a feeling of foreboding.