24. I love

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I
smell of fear, I know.
I wasn't raised 
to look at praise
as an affirmation
or a confirmation
of my passion.
but I love, and I love, and even though it won't be my career, I don't love it any less.

I
expect too much, I fear.
Wonder if it's okay
for my friends not to say
what's on their hearts
because advice is an art
and I don't know where to start.
but I love, and I love, and even though they break my heart, I don't love them any less.

I
am angry too often, too much.
Arguing with each other
and ruining one another
for words are delicate
and mine, never definite.
but I love, and I love, and no matter what we say, I don't love my family any less.

I
suffer from sadness, so often.
Life, the pain and remedy,
what medicine is there for entropy?
Or blind bewilderment
in life's event?
but I love, and I love, and no matter how dark the day, I don't love me any less.

I
know there's little we know
except that time is pain, that
life seems to be lived in vain,
but that meant the anomaly
the phenomenon, blooming like a lily in the valley
is love.
So I love, and love, because it's the only response I know, because it's the only way the world makes sense, because He loved me first -

because, without this, I am meaningless.

_________________________________________________________________

An ode to love, and why I do it. <3

- the Author







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