BLOOD - Na Jaemin

XIII

Sometimes, beautiful creations has an implied meaning that's calling out for help.

I remember the first chapter of Blood was written on 13 November 2018. I was in school with my personal notebook where I pour all the words that stuck in my head. Out of boredom listening to the Math teacher, I wrote down the plot of a mystery and thriller imagination that I had been thinking about for days. I decided to make it a fan fiction book for my NCT bias. I also wrote the first draft of the first chapter. I went home and quickly write the draft in my phone and publish it here.

I'm grateful for everyone who read, voted, and commented on this book. Thank you so much and I love you :)

-Sincerely, Zipporah

"Are you okay?" I ask worried, maybe for the tenth time of the day.

He nods with his gaze on somewhere else other than me. I look back to the window of the taxi; I see nothing in particular, everything I see is motioning.

Why did dad keep it all to himself? Was it to protect me? If so, isn't it better if I knew what I'm against and what I'm being protected from?

...right?

It hurts being confused. I'm trapped in a universe where everything is confused.

I asked my heart what's happening, my heart doesn't know. It says it's confused too, it beats faster because it doesn't know what it's supposed to do.

I asked my brain, who must've known what's going on since it has knowledge. It replied to me that it's complicated. It says that it knows, but it can't process the situation.

Lastly, I asked my soul if it has any advice. It can't give me advice if my heart and my brain are confused too.

Tears are build up on my eyes. My vision starts to blur as my eyes becoming wetter. It's getting harder to breath. Teardrops starts to drip down on my cheeks and I let it. I sniffle as more tears fall.

A hand taps my shoulder. I look at Jaemin who tilts his head, concerned about me. I'm tired of pretending I am okay; for the first time, I said no.

He pulls my head to the crook of his neck and his other arm holds my waist. I hug him back by putting my arms behind his neck. He goes closer to me and hug me tighter. His lips touch my forehead. Red flushes through my face as he did so, but tears keep falling and drench his grey hoodie.

For the whole fifteen kilometre ride, we stay like that. How I wish it could last forever. I zoned out of conciousness, the darkness has consumed me.

N A J A E M I N

My breath hitches as I see the pain she has been hiding. It hurts to see her tears come out from her eyes. It hurts to see Hwa Young hurt. Her little snores could be heard. I hold her even tighter, I don't know if I could be suffocating her. My head leans on hers, then I exhaled a big sigh.

My gaze is glued to the reflection of myself on the window. It's 5 PM but it's raining; what a perfect weather for the mood.

I can barely think straight after hearing how my mother is related to a gang. I don't even know what's going on inside my head. My eyelids start to feel heavy and soon I drift to sleep as well.

P A R K H W A Y O U N G

"Alright kids, I've reached your destination. Now pay me, I wanna drink!" Jaemin and I wake up to the taxi's driver annoyed voice.

"Dude chill," I take out my wallet from my bag.

"It's 3400 won," the annoyance is still there in his voice. My eyes narrow at his rudeness. I just pass the money to him.

"Thank God you didn't talk for the whole ride. Otherwise, I'll have to deal with your rude shits," I have no regrets with what comes out of my mouth.

"Thank you for the ride anyways," I tried hard to show my genuine smile, but why do I even have to?

Jaemin and I get out of the car. I covered my head with my hoodie. The plan is to be together for our safety. Jaemin unlocks the door of his house. We both get in- darkness is everything we see. He taps on the light switch on his left side. On my right side, there is a small chair- I put my bag there.

"I'll help you pack," I look at my left where Jaemin stands. As usual, his reply is a nod. He goes to the stairs and I follow behind him. In this house, I've never went upstairs before.

I wouldn't be surprised if his room was messy, but it isn't. He doesn't have scattered clothes all over the floor like I do.

"Your room's neater than mine," I commented. He looks at me and points at his watch.

"Right, we don't have much time," I realize.

He opens the wardrobe and takes out a backpack. Then a stack of T-shirts are also taken out. He puts it in to the backpack. I crouch down beside him, helping to put the T-shirts in.

I don't know how to pack, this is my way to do it haha.

Next is his hoodies. Then his pants. Finally, his... nevermind. He gives me a gesture that tells me to wait here in his bedroom. He was about to leave the room, but I stop him.

"Where are you going?" I furrow my eyebrows. He looks around and scratches his nape.

"Whatever it is, I'll understand you," he looks at me then points at the zipper of his jeans. I-

I let out a giggle as I understand why he was confused on how to answer.

"The toilet?" laughter keeps leaving my mouth. He nods with that cute grin.

"Okay okay go ahead," chuckles are still there to choke me from saying the words. He closes the bedroom door. I lean on the wardrobe door, staring at nothing.

I feel dead. Lifeless. Empty.

This body contains no soul anymore. I don't know where it went. Maybe it dad and Jaeyoon brought it along with them? I don't know.