XV

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Hi, I'm Zipporah

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Hi, I'm Zipporah. I'm Dutch-Indonesian. I'm twelve years old. I was born on January 31st 2006, in Jakarta, Indonesia.

From my introduction, it doesn't show who I am. What do you mean, Zipporah? Of course it does, there are your name, birthplace, and stuff. Well true, but when someone asks who you are, aren't you more than just your name?

Can I rant?

I feel like I want to just die and disappear from this world. I want to die, but I'm not exactly suicidal. I just want the whole pain to stop.

I have enough real friends, even if it's three only, but I'm satisfied. I have even more online friends who welcome me with their open arms. My family loves me and takes care of me, so do I to them. I receive more than enough love, that I probably don't even deserve.

Then I wondered, what would it feel like for them to see my casket. I imagined the regret painted all over their faces, when they think they weren't enough for me and wish to rewind the clock just to fix me. Could you imagine when someone got broken down just because the only thing they have left of me is memories, and the others of mine are gone with me to the better place: my soul, my heart, and the rest of my everything?

I cried at the thoughts of hurting others by ending the movie. My movie.

Sometimes, those smiles that appears in people's faces are nothing but fake lies to cover what's beneath; pain.

It has been a week since Yuta witnessed their kiss and ruins it. They both live with the NCT 127. They have been told about the six members they haven't been introduced to. Jaehyun is their guide to NCT. Their physical strength, intelligence, and quick-thinking skills are trained by the members, mostly Jaehyun.

They are both sitting beside each other in the dining room, taking a break from training. Jaemin puts strands of her hair away from her face and kisses her cheek. He smiles cutely and Hwa Young couldn't help but smile too.

That bright smile shall never die. Hwa Young refers to the only smile that could kill her; his.

"You're so cute, Hwa Young," he kisses her pointy nose. She sneezes as his lips lets go of her nose.

"Ew," he gives her a sheet of tissue. She takes it and narrows her eyes at him.

"Thanks," Yuta and Jaehyun come in to the dining room. They sit across both of them. Jaemin and Hwa Young corrects their posture.

"Jaehyun told me you both are ready to have positions. He thinks Hwa Young is good for a spy and as for Jaemin, you're a shooter," Yuta, who is in charge of replacing Taeyong as a leader, states.

"Are you guys good at the position chosen for you?" Yuta asks.

"Yes, Yuta," the both of them say at the same time.

"Good. For the next one week, you will be training as a spy and a shooter. Then, we'll..." Yuta raises his eyebrow before contuining his words.

"test," a deep voice replaces his normal voice.

"you both. Clear?" Yuta finishes with his normal voice.

"Clear," they say at the same time again.

"Good," Yuta says, then he leaves with Jaehyun.

They sigh as they're completely surrounded by no one anymore. They didn't want to live this life with guns on their pockets, missions, blood, and more. But it's for their safety to get away from X and they have to have a position and be useful for NCT. After all, they are NCT.

X hasn't texted them for a week. They don't know what to react about it. Either, relieved or suspicious?

Doyoung comes in to the room and looks at the moody couple.

"Hey guys!" he greets. He walks to the fridge and takes out a milk carton.

"Are you guys okay?" Doyoung asks, concerned as he keeps holding the cold carton that might be numbing his hand by now.

"We're okay," now this is the answer that contains lies. No help will be be given anyway if they said that they're not okay. The only solution is for X to disappear and let Jaemin and Hwa Young move on with their lives from the past, but no, stay pretend.

Their phone chimes, even Doyoung knows what it means.

"The whole week was great when I forgot you exist X," Hwa Young mutters. She takes out her phone and read the message. Doyoung looks at the screen from behind.

Do you even know that NCT are orphans? X

"Oh my God," the three says in synchronization. They are frozen as ice. Fear is tightening in their stomachs. Questions are like the cotton to the plushie, and the plushie is the head.

"Is the killer really one of NCT?" Jaemin questions.

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