Method of Desire

Chapter 38

This winter was a crazy ride, but now it was the summer. The dorm was smoldering hot, and the only thing we had to keep us cool were tiny little fans. The radio man even seemed to sound hot as he tried to boom the latest news through the speakers.

"I really can't stand this." Joan cried out, turning in her bed. "I might melt today!"

"Trust me, I know." I rolled my eyes. My back was turned to her, and I faced the wall. An array of papers were all along my bed.

They were all letters and postcards sent from Marlon. Postcards read places like Hollywood, Los Angeles, and Silver Springs.

He spoke to me about everything over there, from how the actors were to how the people looked. He spoke about how everyone has a tan, and a bit more kind than the East Coast. He reassured me he wasn't getting into trouble over there, however I find that hard to believe.

He says he doesn't have any other girls, and it may possibly be true. He writes about how he misses my skin against his, and how he can't wait until he can get back home.

Pattie, I got my first film role. I never thought I'd ever be on the big screen, but I couldn't resist the opportunity. A scout came up to me and told me he thought I was a star.

I thought that was bullshit.

You're gonna see your guy on the big screen. Tell James I said hi, and I'd love for you guys to fly out. I wish I could touch you, honeypot.

-Marlon

I closed the paper and when I turned around Joan gave me a smirk.

"It's so hot already, you're going to give yourself a fever reading those letters." Joan teased as she peered at me with a smirk.

"I wasn't reading those letters." I laughed and threw the letter to the side.

Betty popped her head in. "You've got a phone call!" She smiled a weak, her short, dark hair now growing to shoulder length.

I walked through the hall, and all the girls were in their rooms. They lounged and groaned, the heat was taking over all of us.

I picked up the phone receiver and pressed it to my ear. "Hello?"

"Patricia." Paul said through the phone. I told Marlon all that happened with Paul and he was shocked. He says he didn't know of Paul trying to be heinous and he probably was telling the truth.

But don't fuck him. Marlon would remark.

"Hey there." I smiled, rolling my finger along the rotary phone circle.

"I was thinking, you should come down by the studio and see us." Paul invited me. I hadn't gone back ever since Marlon left. At this point in time, everyone knew Marlon was out in California.

People called him a sell-out because he left the craft for the big lights in Hollywood.

I walked down the steps and into that sacred room at the studio. I wore a pastel blue dress along with a string of pearls around my neck. I was late for the class.

"Pat!" James said as he came up to me. He hugged me and kissed my cheek. He was all healed up now, and still lived in his tiny apartment by myself. "Paul told me you were coming."

"Look who made it." Paul said as he walked up to us. "Looking beautiful as usual."

He took my hand and placed a kiss on it. James stood by quietly, as he usually did.

"How about we grab a bite, you and I?" Paul asked as he flung his blazer over his shoulder.

"Sure." I smiled at him. Although I was with Paul physically in New York, I still wished that Marlon was back home.

I missed him emotionally and physically. I wanted to spend nights just talking to him, but I also wanted to be flung over his lap once again—

"What does he have that I don't?" Paul asked as we walked down the sidewalk. "He's in another state."

"What makes you say that?" I asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Ever since Marlon left you've acted differently. I take you out, I make you laugh, we have a good time, but I still see something missing." Paul notes as he looked at me. He stopped and I did also, facing him.

"All I want to do is be in your life, Patricia." Paul said as he rested his hands on my shoulders. "And concentrating on not being a gangster."

I laughed and Paul pulled me in close. "Do you really care for him that much more?"

I stayed silent, I didn't know what else he wanted to hear. I especially didn't want to lie to him.

"That's alright." Paul said with a nod. "It's fine, as long as I'm with you I'm fine."

"Why are you so hung up on me, Paul?" I asked with my head cocked to the side.

"Who else do I have in this city?" Paul asked as he looked up at the sky. "It's just you and me, baby."

"And James." I interjected. "And Tony."

"Tony is a different story." Paul laughed as we began walking together, holding hands.

In the restaurant, we kissed as if no one was there. Paul's lips moved down to my neck and I looked to the waiter who was suddenly standing next to us.

He was either staring at the fact that this white man was necking me, or that his hand was up my skirt.

Either way, he stood there awkwardly with the checkbook in hand.

I patted Paul's shoulder and he looked up and around, noticing the check book. He opened it, took money out of his pocket without even looking, and threw it on the table.

"I need you, Patricia." Paul said as he went back to kissing me. I smirked and kissed him back, then stood up.

"Where are you going?" Paul asked in a shocked voice.

"Home." I rolled my eyes, lifting my head up high. Then I strutted out of the restaurant. Paul wiped his face and watched with a gaping mouth as I left him hot and heavy.

At that point, I didn't care whether Paul and I slept together or not. Deep down all I could think about was Marlon and how far away he was.