I don't know. I'd feel a lot better if I studied more growing up ya know? But ya know the day it all went wrong was the day they started the spelling bee. Cuz up until that day I was an idiot but no one else knew. And the spelling bee ya know, popped up...
Teacher:"Alright kids, up against the wall. It's time for public humiliation. Spell a word wrong, sit down in front of your friends. "
Yea that's great for little egos, hey look at me I'm a moron! Wasn't even close! I was using numbers and stuff! 394#&=*$
That's why I admired that kid who spelled it wrong so he could sit down...He knew he wasn't gonna win so why stand there for three hours.
First round he goes, "Cat, K-A-T I'm outta here."
Then as he passed you your like, "HAHA I know there's two T's..."
I remember my teacher asked me,"Brian, what's the 'I' before 'E' rule?"
Me:"Umm... 'I' before 'e'....always. "
Teacher:"What are you an idiot Brian? "
Me:"Apparently! "
Then she explains it. "No, it's I before E except after C, and when sounding like A, is a neighbor in way, and on weekends, and holidays, and all throughout May, you'll always be wrong, matter WHAT you say!"
That's a hard rule!
That's a rough rule...
Plurals were hard too.
Teacher:"Brian how do you make a word a plural?"
Me:"Uhmm... ya put a S. Ya put a S at the end of it. "
Teacher:"When? "
Me:"Um...on Weekends and Holidays..."
Teacher:"No Brian No..." So she asked this kid who knew everything: "Erwin..Erwin? What's the plural for Ox?"
Erwin:"Oxen! The farmer used his oxen! "
Teacher:"Brian?"
Me:"WAAHT?"
Teacher:"Brian what's the plural for box?"
Me:"Boxen. I bought two Boxen of donuts!"
Teacher:"No... let's try another one. Erwin what's the plural for goose?"
Erwin:"Geese! I saw a flock of geese!"
Teacher:"Brian?"
Me:"Waaaahhht?"
Teacher:"What's the plural for moose?"
Me:"Moosen! I saw a flock of Moosen! There are many of them! Many much Moosen! Out in the woods! And the Woodes! And the Woodsen! Meese want da food! Food is the eaten ensen! Meese want the food in a woodynesen! Food in a Woodynesen! "
Teacher:"Brian...Brian...your an inbisul..."
Me:"Inbisulen!"
Teacher:"What ya speak in German Brian?"
Me:"German...Germane! Jackson Five..Cheeto!"
Teacher:"What the hell are you talking about? "
Me:"I dunno...really I dunno. "
Think the worst day was when the science project was due.. Aw yea that was fun... waking up that morning, Oh no! It's due today! Had 9 months to work on it and did nothing. I had no idea what to do so I brought in a paper cup filled with dirt, just hoping she'd know I'm an idiot and walk right past me just as long as I was holding something... When I got there I looked around and all the other kids their parents made theirs for them I hated that! Their backing them in on flatbed trucks.. One kid with a Volcano. He didn't know how to zip up his own pants but he built a volcano! How'd ya swing that?
Then the teacher came up to me. "What ya have there Brian? "
Me:"Uh...It's a cup of dirt. just put an F on there and let me go! "
Teacher:"Well explain it!"
Me:"Uh... Well its a cup...With dirt In it! I call it cup of dirt! You should move on now. Just head down the line there..."
-Brian Regan Stupid In School
