And My Heart Goes

"Condolences"

            Three days before Neek's funeral, the guy who shot him got arrested after he robbed, shot, and wounded another man and his girlfriend. The gun he'd used in that crime was the same gun he'd killed Neek with and he confessed to murdering Neek during the fight at the corner store. While him being in police custody brought some justice to Kwame's family, it did nothing to ease their hurt. Kwame wasn't the same and I wasn't sure if I could bring some normalcy back into his life. At Neek's funeral, Kwame had a cold disposition the entire time. He didn't smile whenever someone brought up good memories of Neek and he didn't cry whenever someone said something that made us all teary-eyed. I was worried about him but I had faith that he would persevere.

            The repass was held inside the same rec center where the family had celebrated Neek's homecoming from prison the prior week. I don't know whose idea it was to have it there but it was a good decision since it was the last place where we all saw Neek happy. From the limited time I spent getting to know him, I could already tell he was a good guy who had served his debt to society.

            "Thanks again for coming, Elijah," Khadijah said while giving me a warm hug. "I know we all only met last week but it already feels like you're family."

            "Thanks, Khadijah," I said. I pulled back from the hug and we both looked over at Kwame. I noticed how upset she was getting and rubbed her back while telling her, "He's gonna be okay."

            "I can't even talk to him when he's like that. He just shuts down every time something like this happens. Most of us have gotten somewhat used to all the killing but Kwame..." She cried and continued, "He just shuts down."

            "I'll make sure he's okay. I'll take him out for some drinks or something. He seems to open up when you get him liquored up."

            She wiped her tears and laughed a little before saying, "You just made me laugh for the first time today. Fine and funny. Are you sure you're not bi?"

            I laughed and replied, "Yeah, I'm sure."

            She was about to say something else but one of her friends called her over and she gave me another hug before walking over to join them. I was about to go back over to Kwame but I spotted Tyrell sitting alone picking at his food with his plastic fork. I thought about what to say for a second and then walked over and sat down next to him. He looked up and forced a smile on his face.

            "Hey, Elijah," he said.

            "Hey. I just wanted to see how you were doing?"

            "I'm okay."

            "Was Neek your only brother?"

            "Yeah."

            "I met your little sister, Tyra. She's nice."

            "Yeah, she's a sixteen-year-old angel. We have the same mama and daddy. She's Neek's half-sister. Neek used to protect us both when we were little. I've always been feminine and he let me do my thing and stand up for myself but he didn't let anybody bash me or even disrespect me when he was around. He was definitely more protective over Tyra since she's a girl but he kept me safe, too. I wouldn't be as strong and independent as I am today if it weren't for him."

            "I'm so sorry for your loss, Tyrell." I gently touched his back to comfort him.

            He looked at me and asked, "Can you tell Kwame something for me?"

            "Sure, anything."

            "Tell him that he'll always be the best because I never found better."