Langst Oneshots

Haunt My Tears

{A/N Please read if bothered- So, it's has been like...a month at least, since I produced a decent oneshot. I am so sorry. I don't really have an excuse, I'm just lazy and unmotivated, and then season 8 decided it was gonna just...do all the stuff it did. So I've been pretty shaken up, I'm really sorry. I was rewatching it with my friend today and we thought It'd be cool if Ryan (kinkade) and lance were ex boyfriends. Not like the crazy ex boyfriend types, more of the relationship where you Guys didn't work out and decided to mutually break up cause you both lost interest. They still have a bromance, cause it's cute, but Ryan just wants to make lance happy. Anyway, that was really long and probably didn't need explaining but like...yeah. I'm sorry, I'll try to update more.}

Trigger warnings:
-mentioned character death
-anxiety/depression
-nightmares?? (Not explicit)

Ship: Klance
Bromance: Ryance (Ryan (kinkade) x lance)

Life at the garrison was...hectic, to say the least. You can imagine things would be a little crazy after an intergalactic war that threatened the fate of every reality. Lance had been taking it especially hard, but can you blame him? I mean, he finally got the girl of his dreams, after countless life threatening encounters, only to lose her just days later. The whole team lost her. Many weren't even granted the privilege of saying goodbye. Lance was the one to break the news to coran. He figured coran would be angry, irrational, demanding to know why it was allura that had to go, so lance decided to tell him. He was willing to accept coran's anger and sorrow, he deserved the crushing weight on his shoulders, the tight squeeze in his lungs, the tears that threatened his eyes. He deserved to feel them, because he'd failed. He couldn't save her, what he'd always promised to do, the only useful thing he could've done.

Instead, coran sobbed, he screamed and he wailed, clinging onto lance for dear like as fierce, violent sobs tore through his body. It only made lance hurt more, made him cling tighter, made the crushing reality and realisation stole him ten times harder. He hadn't let himself cry yet. He could barely accept that she was gone. It because a struggle to do anything.

It's not that lance didn't miss her, he missed her with all his heart, wish this entire thing was just some horrible, hate filled nightmare, and he'd wake up next to her, hold her tight and realise it was all ok. But it wasn't. Nothing was ok anymore. His nightmares became his happiest moments, yet he still screamed away the tears. He wanted to be strong, to show that he was a warrior, that he could get through this, that he wasn't weak. But it didn't work. Bottling up his tears just made his fragile, unstable, emotional, scared to do anything but stare at an invisible flicker of hope. Ryan couldn't take it anymore.

Word got out to the occupants of earth fairly quickly, a nation wide devastation shook the planet. The paladins has been temporarily relieved of their duties, encouraged to take some time to theirselves, bask in the safety of the universe, honour allura's memory. Lance mostly laid still in bed, he didn't eat, sleeping was torturous, just thinking of talking to the other paladins made him feel brimming tears. But he couldn't cry, 'a warrior doesn't cry', he kept reminding himself, over and over until that was his only thought. Until his vision ceased to exist, until he drifted into an uncomfortable atmosphere, an awkward period of sleep, in which he was paralysed, filled with adrenaline yet no means of release for it.

Many of Lance's friends and family members had tried to pry lance of his cocoon of toxic masculinity, none had any luck yet. Until Ryan showed up at Lances room. He knocked softly, 3 times in a steady pattern, then two fast loud knocks, and a long anticipated, almost inaudible last knock. It was a sort of code lance and Ryan had made up back when they were dating. It always seemed to make lance smile, it was sort of a way they told each other they cared. They cared enough to remember something so silly. It was a sign of trust, that this truly was important. Ryan has never once gotten the knock wrong, and he always seemed to show up at the right time.