no longer | hwang hyunjin

chapter 12

The phone rang, so I ran to it. It was the hospital.

"Hello, we're calling-" the receptionist said.

I immediately put the phone and ran out my door. I ran to the hospital.

It was a 30 minute run, but I didn't care. I could've taken a bus, or a taxi. But I didn't even think.

I arrived at the hospital and immediately went to my grandmother's room.

I looked in and she wasn't in her bed.

I went to the receptionist and asked her where she was. And she lead me to a room.

"She's inside here." The lady said pointing to a door.

I stopped in front of the door. Slowly opening it, I tried to prepare myself for what I was about to see.

But you could never be ready for what I just saw. My grandmother laying on a bed, a white sheet covering her whole body.

I took off the sheet off her face, and I saw her face. It was the last time I was going to.

I started to shed tears. The last person in my life had finally left me.

I knew it would happen one day. One day I would be left with nothing but myself. But I didn't know that it would be this soon.

I just sat there crying. I probably said sorry one million times but she deserves it.

After all she's done for me, and me not giving anything in return, sorry will never be enough.

I can't even a proper wake, since we don't have enough family friends. But I want to give her a proper burial.

I was already taking too long, and a lady asked me to leave now. As I got out she gave a letter to me.

"Your grandmother told me to give this to you." She said.

I said thank you and bowed to her. I walked home with my head down. As I looked at the letter, I felt like the world really didn't like me.

Today I had to let go of the only two people in my life. I've lost so many already that I guess the universe doesn't want to stop taking them away from me.

I got to my house and I sat down on my couch. I looked at the letter in my hands and opened it. I then read what it said.

Dear Ha Yoon,

If you are reading this, that means I've probably passed. It's okay, I'll be watching you everyday.

But I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. I may not have never said it in person but I'm so proud of you. All your accomplishments are incredible. With just me supporting you for most of your life, you've really grown so well.

Promise me that you'll never change yourself for anything or anyone. You are perfect just the way you are. Stay that way.

It's the Ha Yoon that I will always love. Remember I'm staying by your side forever even if I'm not there physically. Remember okay?

I love you my dear Ha Yoon. Thank you for making my life meaningful.

P.S my lawyer will talk with you tomorrow

Love, Grandmother.

Her words lifted me up. Even if she isn't physically with me, she will always be in my heart. And right beside me in spirit.

I went up to my bedroom with a smile. My grandmother isn't here anymore, but I will always love her.

I thank her for everything. I hope she enjoys life up there. I'm sure it's going to be fun for her.