TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of self harm
Everything hurt.
And he was afraid.
But afraid didn't seem to explain his fear.
His fear, this paralyzing, suffocating, crushing panic ripping through his bitten skin, tearing through his entire existence, cold, and unrelenting, dragging him to the bottom of a black ocean he could no longer separate from the sky.
Was he going to lose the only person who had stared at him from the surface?
Who had seen him swallowing his words along with burning mouthfuls of smothering water, bloodied lungs full of warped blades and twisted glass, and pressed sunsets to his blue lips?
The only person who held him so gently in his warm arms, who whispered so softly, so sincerely, sweetening the air so it no longer stung his delicate throat, replacing hateful handprints with blooming orchids, and crimson roses with purple flowers?
Was the pale boy with skin as white and as sweet as sugar, eyes that felt like home, and tasted of the stars scattered over endless galaxies, yet forever familiar and safe, lips so soft and forming such tender promises, nimble fingers that brushed over him, and tucked blankets under his chin, curling around the pages of books, and combing through his hair, going to leave now that he'd seen the truth?
Now that he'd seen how incredibly weak, how incredibly shattered Jimin was, how incredibly fat, and ugly, and slutty, and ungrateful, and selfish he was?
Now that he'd seen his scars, inflicted and drawn over his body by his own fumbling hands, in tortured nights full of locked screams, tears pouring down his agonized face, chest heaving with desperate gasps, all while pleading to stop breathing altogether, and blades covered in scarlet, a pink tinted sink, and pink tinted tiles, cold against his bare knees, and no one to hold him together, because the one person who claimed to love him was the one person killing his open heart?
Was Jimin going to lose him now?
Lose him, just like he said he would lose everyone, everyone but him, because no one else would want to touch his hideous body, no one else would want to hear his annoying voice, or see his face, or watch him plead and beg like a whore?
Was Jimin going to lose him?
And was Min Yoongi going to leave him?
YOU ARE READING
Don't Wanna Be Your Boy | Yoonmin
Fanfiction"I'm s-scared Y-Yoongi h-hyung..." "It's okay to be scared, I'm right here, and I'm not going to ever leave you. I'll protect you, okay?" "T-thank y-you h-hyung..." In which Jimin has mistaken pain for love and Yoongi wants to show him what it feels...
