Loving Her Was Red

Realization Hits

"To those who have given up on love,
I say trust life a little bit."
- Maya Angelou

I walked through the door of the studio, clutching a vanilla latte in one hand and my handbag in another. Ed was supposed to meet me in about 10 minutes, so I was about early I'd say.

Settling myself on one of the chairs in the studio, my thoughts wandered back to her.

This morning was kind of horrible if I were to think about it. And absolutely wrong on my part to have forced herself on her. It did feel stupid and maybe desperate for attention, the way that I kissed her when I had just ended up hitting her with a baseball bat.

"Hello?" A deep voice interrupted me out of my reverie.

"Oh, hi!" I greeted one of my highly esteemed guy friends, Ed Sheeran or ginger as I liked to call him, owing to the flaming red hair he possessed.

He stood in front of me, with a bouquet of roses in one hand and his guitar case in another.

He has to be the sweetest guy ever.

"These are for Taylor Swift, if you happen to know who she is?" Ed winked at me as he pretentiously looked around for "Taylor swift".

"That would be me." I laughed as he handed me the flowers.

"Very well then. So let's start, yeah?" Ed unzipped the guitar case, pulling out his acoustic guitar.

"Sure." I breathed out exhaustively.

***

Three long, (really long!) hours into it, and we still haven't finished the song.

Well, by we, I mean me.

I just can't focus towards the music right now, there's stuff going through my mind.

Stuff like Karlie Kloss.

"What's wrong with you, mate?" Ed sat down next to me, placing his guitar on the side.

"I don't know... just feels kind of weirded out, I guess", I replied as I looked at my phone.

About 20 messages but none of them from her.

"You seem down, to be honest," he creased his eyebrows, and a frown appeared on his face.

Turning to him, I countered.

"Am not."

"Are."

"Alright, fine I am!" I put my hands up in defense, as I looked at the wiry, lean man towards me.

"Tell me. I'm here for you." He gave me a cordial smile, showing off his dimples. He's such a devil, I swear.

"I... I don't know why I'm sad. you know there's those moments when you feel like. Different. Just. Kind of happy. Yet sad and miserable at the same time. Incomple-"

"- Taylor Alison Swift. You cannot sing. You're not focused. You're highly distracted by something. You're practically checking your phone every two minutes." Ed pointed towards my iPhone incredulously.

"I don't know. I feel there's someone. Someone I like." I shamefully admitted.

Someone I'm addicted to...

"Taylor Alison Swift! Are you in love?" He questioned as his eyes bored into mine, looking for answers.

Love? Love was a promise that never existed, a promise never kept. That's why my previous relationships don't work out, wasn't it? I don't even believe in love right now. It's all shite what they say - it might be just around the corner, it might find you someday. But what people fail to understand is that it doesn't exist.

"I hate the sound of it. I'm not in love. Like never ever ever ever ever in love." I insisted.

"Blimey! Taylor Swift is in love! I wonder how many love songs ought to come out of this." He laughed as he pointed to my face.

I felt myself going red for a moment but then, recovery took over real fast.

"No, you misinterpret, Edward. I'm not in love and it was just a one time thing." I stated as I forced myself to look at the soundproof walls.

"Look at me." He pointed to his face. Someone's in the mood for drama, I feel.

I looked up at him, his gingery hair and that serious expression that doctors wear when they have to tell you that you have cancer. (A/N no fucking TFIOS references here.)

"Close your eyes."

This is going to be interesting.

"What?" I looked at him curiously.

"I didn't ask to you widen your pupils, Taylor. Close them!"

"Alright," I closed my eyes, my hands on my lap, waiting for Mr. Ed Sheeran to work his magic.

Her glorious laugh. The very prominent collarbone and her evident self consciousness. The green eyes that could be so mesmerising, so deep, like an ocean of green. The sun kissed skin, almost bare. The dark blonde hair that just touched her neck. . Her lips, the prettiest shade of pink. The intensity of her gaze that eventually led you onto a mirage. Her very existence ought to be praised, The Lord had created a masterpiece at last. A perfect woman.

So perfect, yet sadly unattainable.

A few moments had passed, after which I opened my eyes.

It is very very abnormal for me to think this way. It was such a strong emotion, it's inexpressible and unexpected. It did not feel like my past relationships, it feels like a new world to be honest. A world where someone had rekindled feelings that had once burnt away, died out. What was it? It can't possibly be-

"What'd you see?" His British accent interrupted me.

"Ed, I- I think I'm in love with Karlie Kloss."