Sometimes, I wish I was a guy. Think about it -- you can travel pretty much everywhere in the world without getting weird looks, harassed sexually and otherwise. I mean (from my research) there isn’t actually a female that travelled to every single country. Unlike that 30-something year old guy that made headlines a while back. But really, other than being considered the dominant sex in certain countries, there really isn’t that much difference between males and females.
Yet there’s always at least one active “How do I write from a guy’s perspective?” thread that’s open. I’ve even seen tons of guides along the lines of “How guys talk”, “What guys feel”, and “How guys do the macarena” (okay, maybe not that last one. The macarena is much too universal for that).
Ladies and gents, I have a crazy announcement from the scientific community for you. Ready? Here goes.
Women and men come from the same species. We’re all Homo sapiens sapiens. Shocking, I know.
So while I sort of get that getting into someone’s head may be daunting, there’s no reason to panic when writing about someone of a different gender. We’re all human and have the same human issues. You don’t think a guy panics when he’s around a girl he likes? Dream on. Don’t think that girl is panicking too? Yeah, right.
Honestly, you don’t even need to define gender for a story to be good or interesting. It’s often just assumed that one character is a certain gender because -- hey look -- they’re making out with their significant other. You most certainly don’t need to start a story from the first person with “Hi, my name is XYZ and I’ve got female genitalia. This is how I saved the universe.” None of that was needed. None. It’s all information that can be figured out later on with conversations, descriptions, and (you know) the actual story. Shocking, I know.
For instance, if we had a story where Alice was the protagonist fighting against Emperor Palpatine, which would be better:
A) “Greetings, Emperor. My name is Alice. You killed my father, prepare to die.” *giant flash of evil blue lighting sends Alice off into Neverland while the Emperor cackles. The empire continues to do terrible things but Jar Jar Binx survives to provide eternally bad comic relief. The End.*
B) *Our hero sneaks up on the Emperor who’s out of tune with the Shwartz* “Who’s there?” *he looks around him* “I know you’re there…” *The rebel leader presses a gun sideways (aka gangsta syle) into the Emperor’s back* “Now, listen up, you do that ridic cray-cray firework shit and I pop a cap in your wrinkly old ass. Don’t even think I won’t, ya biddy goocher. Ait, so you’re gonna bizust your spastic crew from my joint here and find your own little granny beach and drink mimosas forever. Bounce.” *Terrified, the Emperor listens and leaves with the stormtroopers who happen to love mimosas. Jar Jar Binx is locked up in an asylum and all the Ewoks dance in joy. The End.*
I think I know which one is the story I know and love. Well, kinda but you know what I mean.
Notice, though, how in the second one neither her gender nor her name are included. Because it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that some poor beach planet better have an everlasting supply of mimosas in order to maintain the peace of the universe.
In essence, gender really doesn’t matter when writing (unless you’re writing about gender issues). What species your character is does matter though. Can you imagine writing from a platypus’ perspective? I mean, those things are weird. Awesome, but weird. Go-home-you’re-drunk-evolution-weird. Needs-a-totally-unique-perspective-weird.
Humans though? Nah, we’re all the same. So stop thinking men and women are different. We’re not.
Well folks, I never thought this would happen but I’m sorta speechless. I have no idea what to say next after forty (that's 40) posts. We’ve burned through all my “extra” posts, the vague impressions in my mind, and everything else. I’m officially out of posts so I’m going to mark this as "on hold" and tag on new posts if I come up with something. But no more twice-weekly posts (unless I suddenly become inspired). Sorry.
I wish I could thank each and everyone of you guys personally (and I hope I have) but I know there are some silent readers out there so thanks to you guys! I hope everyone has found this silly little guide at least a little helpful and fun. I loved every comment, every discussion, and even the spats that this guide brought on. Thanks for all your support -- you all rock!
I also have news -- the lovely PheobeW is actually translating this into Romanian. So all you people who want to see my little oddities in Romanian, check that out!
Also, I have written the rough draft of the hamster love story and will be posting it soon! And yes, I'll probably let you all know. Because who doesn't love a hamster love story?
So thanks again everyone! I loved meeting each and every one of you! It was so fun to write this and hear from you all! Let us drink mimosas on a beach for eternity! Come chat anytime!
