erase me - kryoz [slow updates]

eight

john

as much as i absolutely love having acacia staying with me, it's been hard. i fall harder and harder for the girl with just about anything she does, but there's no way anything would happen. she isn't looking for a relationship and quite frankly, she fucking hates relationships. i'm kind of the same though, i can't remember the last time i had a serious relationship, so fuck knows why all the sudden my head goes and does this.

last night we didn't do much at all, but tonight i plan to take her out to dinner. it's a relatively fancy place and i'm not too sure i'm ready to see how stunning i know she's going to look. neither of us are huge into fancy things and really dressing up so i thought this would be a fun idea when i suggested it.

it's only 1:30 and i have our dinner reservations set for 6:00. yes, it's that fancy that it needs reservations which leads me to think it's gonna be a lot of stuck up rich fucks. if this place ruins my night and my chances even more i'm gonna flip a table.

acacia has been laying across my lap with her head on the armrest of my couch watching the office for about half an hour now. she seems content, but also really concentrated on the show and she looks so damn cute that it's irritating. it's the simplest things, like what you see in the books. you think someone is the prettiest or the most attractive in the simple moments if you're really into them. like when someone is doing art, cooking, driving, things like that and you just can't seem to shake the thought of "they're really that fucking cute without trying."

she turned over to look back at me, "i'm bored of this already."

"there's fuck all on tv. we can listen to music or something if you want. connect your phone to my speaker."

she pulled out her phone and handed me it to connect it to my speaker and when i gave it back she turned on a playlist titled "go to soft bois."

"it's a neutral playlist, shit i feel like you'd actually listen to." she laughed.

the first song that came on sounded to be something like eden. i pressed the home button on her phone to see that i was right and it was times like these.

acacia sat up and sat on the other side of me so she was no longer laying on me. i looked over at her softly singing the words to the song and i couldn't help but smile. i've always known eden is one of her favorites artists, which is kind of different for her, but i've never had the opportunity to see her in an environment like this.

you learn a lot about someone being together with them in person. at this point i have been friends with acacia since early last year, so i've known her for about a year and a half. sure, we've gone to pax together a few times, but that's not enough time to get to know someone, especially with others around. it's also not the same as late night calls and skypes. there's just something different about being face to face with someone, and i'm really reminded of that here.

——

it's kind of stupid to say, but i'm actually nervous for this "date." we both see it as just a normal dinner, two friends going out together, but something in the back of my head constantly reminds me that if i don't pussy out i could make this something. i just can't help thinking how bad i'll fuck up this friendship if i were to say anything and it goes wrong. the smart decision would be to leave it. i'm not always the smartest decision maker though.

i put my last ring on and looked at myself in the mirror, taking a deep breath.

it's all or nothing tonight.

acacia caught a glimpse of me from the kitchen and looked up, smirking.

"you do know how to seriously dress up, damn pretty boy."

i rolled my eyes and flipped her off, taking note of her joking manner.

"hard pass, babe. you could only fuck me in your dreams." she laughed.

"i'm sure i could make anything happen if i tried hard enough."

"hm, do you think that's true?"

i raised my eyebrow at her, "well i've been told i'm pretty fucking persistent and they always say your dreams are within reach as long as you put your heart into it."

"so you do fuck me in your dreams!" she yelled.

"fuck," i laughed. "you got me there, cay."

she facepalmed and eventually grabbed her jacket and walked to the door.

"maybe if dinner is good enough you can get me in bed." she winked.

"damn this place better be good then." i said while opening the door.

the restaurant is only about 10 minutes away from my apartment in good traffic so at least the uber will be cheaper than usual. that's always something to look forward to.

when in the car acacia laid her head on my shoulder, which has now become a habit with her. i put my hand on the middle of her thigh and she put hers on top of my mine and grabbed it lightly.

i am literally so head over heels for this girl and none of this is making it better.

she took a picture of our hands, the slightly setting sun adding to the effects of the picture. this one, however, she didn't post anywhere. i can't say i blame her. both of our fans would go batshit and neither of us really need that right now.

my phone vibrated and i looked down to see a message from smitty.

smitty
are you gonna make
your move tonight?

john
what move

smitty
with acacia dumbass

smitty
we've all figured it
out by now. i don't
know how long you've
been keeping this
secret but your cover's
been blown now per a
little birdy

john
well then to answer
your question, quite
honestly i don't know.
i don't want to ruin shit
if it goes wrong like i
anticipate it would. you
know her like the back of
your hand so i know you
understand exactly
what i'm saying

smitty
though i cant say you're
wrong there, i'd also
like to say it's more than
likely worth a shot. she's
been through a lot of
shit and i can promise
you that even if she doesn't
feel the same, she would not
drop you over something so
minuscule. she's not that type
of person

john
god i really fucking
hope you're right
because i'm gonna
regret this shit if it goes
wrong.

——