SUMMER CAMP || NAMJIN✔️

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"What?" I ask, nearly choking on air as the words came out of Jin's mouth.

"Please don't make me say it again. I'm already embarrassed as it is." Jin says, averting his eyes from mine.

"When? Why?" I ask, trying not to let my mind wander on what happened in the dream.

"It really isn't important. It didn't mean anything, I promise. Don't get weirded out please." Jin says

I looked at Jin but before I could speak, the waitress came over with our food.

"Enjoy." She smiles before winking at Jin and walking away. I took a sip of my drink, trying to take in what Jin had just said.

He had a fucking sex dream about me, just as I had a dream about that night, not to mention fucking getting off thinking about him. 

If that didn't seem like the gayest shit ever I don't know what did.

Not that I could ever tell Jin that. He would definitely get the wrong idea, if he didn't already have it.  

"While we're laying things on the table, is there anything you have to tell me?" Jin asked, looking at me with a slightly intense gaze.

"Of course not." I say back, making sure I didn't stutter. I couldn't look suspicious.

Jin stared at me for a moment before he nodded and started to eat. I let out a breath as I began to eat too, my mind full of many thoughts.

Whatever the fuck you're thinking, Namjoon, get rid of that shit right now.

...

Once we got back to the dorm Jin instantly crashed into his bed, clearly very tired.

I on the other hand was pretty awake. Since it was getting late and I had class at 2:30pm tomorrow I figured i'd just hang a bit.

Soon after, Jin had fallen asleep and I stayed awake, listening to music and thinking.

There was a lot on my mind and I just couldn't seem to sleep, even if I wanted to.

This sucked. Everything sucked honestly. Why did my life have to be so complicated?

The number one thing on my mind right now was this whole gay subject.

I didn't understand any of it and I didn't know what else to do except deny deny deny. 

Whether I wanted to admit it or not, I wasn't straight...yet I wasn't gay either, not really.  

How that worked, I didn't know. I thought maybe I should talk to Tae and Jimin about it but then again, maybe not.

If I did that they would definitely tell Yoongi and Yoongi would tell Jennie and Jennie would tell, well, literally everyone. 

There was no way in hell I could let that happen. Meaning, I would just have to continue to deny until I convinced myself I was strictly straight.

Then it hit me, I had the perfect solution.

...

"What do you mean you're going back home? It's finally the weekend. We were gonna party all weekend." Yoongi says, sighing.

"I'm sorry, there's just something I need to take care of back home." I say as I pack my bags, not caring that everyone's eyes were on me.

"You're seriously gonna leave?" Jungkook asked, leaning back on my bed.

"I'll be back tomorrow night. It really isn't a big deal." I say and Jimin frowns.

"I want to go too." He says but before anyone could feed on that idea, I objected.

"Stay here and party. I'll be back tomorrow so it isn't a big deal." I say as I sling my bag over my shoulder and head for the door.

As I turn around I see Jin staring at me, his lips parted slightly, looking lost in thought.

"See you guys tomorrow night." I say as I leave, making sure I didn't continue to stare at Jin.

As soon as my class had ended today I hurried to pack a bag and leave. I needed to get home and I needed to get there now.

...

As soon as I made it back home I went straight to where I needed to go.

Jackson's house. 

When Jackson opened the door he stared at me shocked and confused.

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at your college?" He asked as he let me inside.

"I needed to talk to you about something." I say and his eyebrows raise.

"Couldn't you have talked to the other about it? Is it really that important?" Jackson asked, seeming concerned. 

"It has to be you. I can't talk about this with them." I say as I sit down on his couch, thankful that he now lived alone. 

I wouldn't want his parents overhearing what I was about to say and ask. 

"So what is it?" Jackson asked as he sat down across from me.

"Can you kiss me?" I ask, my voice as serious as serious gets.

Jackson's eyebrows raise as he looks at me, taken back. "What?" He asks. 

"I asked if you would kiss me." I repeat, this time my sureness falling slightly. 

"Are you high or something? Where is the anti gay Namjoon I know?" Jackson asks.

"That's why I'm here. I don't know what's going on with me." I say, letting out a sigh. 

Jackson let out a breath as he walked over and sat down beside me. "Okay, tell me everything."

So I did. I told Jackson everything that happened at summer camp, no matter how badly I didn't want it to get out.

I told him abut the dreams and about what had happened with Sana. His first response afterwards was; "Yup, definitely gay."  

"Jackson, I'm serious. I don't understand what's happening to me. I still like the idea of having sex with girls but guys..." I trail off, feeling ashamed.

"So you're Bi. You like guys and girls." Jackson shrugs, falling back into the couch.

I stared at Jackson, blinking. I had never thought of me being Bi-sexual since Jin was the only guy I   saw as attractive.  

"How can I be sure? The only guy I've been with is Jin. What if it's only him..." I say.

Jackson sucks in a breath as he leans forward, taking me by surprise as he pressed his lips to mine.  

Although I had asked, I wasn't sure he would actually do it. Yet here he was.

As Jackson kissed me I felt weird. It didn't exactly feel nice but I didn't hate it like I thought I would either. 

At one point I think I actually began to kiss him back. Like seriously kiss him back. 

When Jackson pulled away he looked at me with amused eyes. "Did that answer anything?" He asked.

I looked over at Jackson and let out a breath. "I guess it did..." I say, feeling frustrated at myself.

"So what now?" Jackson asked then continued with, "What solution have you come out with?"

I sucked in a breath as I looked over at him, my eyes meeting his.

"I guess I'm Bi-sexual..."

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