Save Me (Roger Taylor FanFiction) [Wattys 2019]

24: Heart Beats

*26th December 1971*

YESTERDAY HAD NOT STARTED off very well but Roger helped take my mind off of Olivia.

This morning I lay in bed watching Roger's chest rise and fall with his breath. What a beautiful man he was. His long eyelashes rested gently on his cheeks, his mouth was slightly open and his hair was a little all over the place.

I lay on my stomach with my hand on Roger's chest, drawing small circles on his bare skin. My eyes still felt puffy from the crying that I did yesterday but for the first time since Olivia died, I hadn't felt so heavy. I felt light as a feather and I knew that was because I'd cried it out.

I felt something different for Roger this morning. I mean of course I always felt strong feelings for him and my stomach erupted with butterflies every time I saw him, but there was something different about today. There was a warmth in my chest that I was unfamiliar with. 

I could feel the soft beating of his heart underneath my hand and I closed my eyes, focusing all my attention on the beating under my hand. I only reopened my eyes when I felt Roger's heart rate increase and his hand wrap around my wrist.

"You alright, love?" He asked, his voice thick with sleep. I balled my hand into a fist on his chest and smiled at him.

"Yeah," I replied, moving myself over so I could press a soft kiss to his lips.

I felt more than a little bit embarrassed about my breakdown last night no matter how good it felt. I had really made a fool of myself, shouting and crying like that.

"Darling, I'm sorry about last night. I totally lost control of myself,"

"Jules, you needed to let all of that out; it's obviously been building up for years. Don't apologise and I know that voice, don't be embarrassed. I'm not judging you for that,"

I moved my head so it rested on his shoulder. I inhaled the familiar smell of Roger and my world was completely calm.

"Thank you for letting me do it," I whispered.

He leaned over and kissed my head. "Don't thank me," he whispered back. "Jules?" His voice was barley audible.

"I-I... nothing," he stuttered. I moved my hand and stroked the side of his face and moved my hand into his hair. He closed his eyes at my touch and leaned his head into my hand.

"What is it?" I encouraged him, twirling a lock of his hair on my finger.

"It doesn't matter," he whispered as he turned onto his side so he could look at me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him, my head under his chin, resting on his chest.

One of his arms was around my torso and his other hand was firmly fixed in my hair. I felt so safe and warm in his arms, like nothing in the world could ever harm me.

I pressed my lips to the base of his neck and wrapped my arms around his waist.

I was in a different world, a world where everything was beautiful and everyone was a good person. Roger got me through yesterday and I couldn't have survived without him. I'd never felt this close to someone before; I'd never trusted anyone this much. I suddenly realised what my different feelings for Roger were.

"Roger?" I whispered into his chest.

"Hmm?" He replied, sounding only vaguely awake.

"I love you," It was almost as if I hadn't said the three words at all. His heart sped up under my cheek but he said nothing for a moment. I began to worry that I'd ruined everything. Had I said it too soon?

"I love you too," he replied, almost as inaudible as me. His arms tightened around me and he left a lingering kiss on my forehead.

I lifted my head up and kissed his lips gently and softly. This kiss felt much different to the others; it wasn't hungry or harsh, it was loving and warm.

He lifted himself up onto his elbow, so he could kiss me easier. I placed my hand on his upper arm, which was firm from his drumming.

"Do you know what's insane?" Roger asked, breaking our lips.

"What?"

"I actually let you do me up as a woman the other day,"

And I burst out laughing. It felt so good to laugh. I could count in one hand the amount of times I'd properly laughed in the last few years and most of those times were in the last few days with Roger.

"I know! What on earth did you let me do that for? You must love me," I giggled.

"I wanted to cheer you up a bit, clearly it did because I was trying to get your clothes off but all you wanted to do was laugh at me,"

"Come on, sweetheart, you'd have laughed too," I placed my hand on his cheek. "You looked ridiculous,"

"Yeah, thanks to you," he huffed.

"I can't believe I didn't take a picture of you! For god's sake, why didn't I think of that? I'm a blumin' photographer as well and it didn't even enter my mind to take a picture. I was too busy trying to get you to wipe it off so we could do other things,"

"Well, that's too bad," he replied.

"There'll be another photo opportunity like that,"

"No way, there's no way I will ever put make up on again. Ever."

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A/N

Oh dear, Roger, if only you knew. Okay so I couldn't leave you on such a depressing note so here's something to cheer you all up!

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter because there are storm clouds for these two on the horizon.

Keep reading!

Xx