as the sky is lit, why am i not upset?

18 5 0
                                    

i always have that
recurring question
am i sad
or
just a little upset?

at 5 pm
as the sun glistens
as it sets
i find myself smiling
as the cool summer
breeze kisses my skin
as the sky is lit
with pink, orange
with a hint of blue
and dopamine flows
sweetly through my
veins

but then as if like a switch
i fall harder
crashing as if
happy was my own
personal drug.

3 am
and tired eyes
i drift as tears pour
thinking of times
where i wasn't reaching
and grasping for
help.
i wasn't always this
troubling
and felt as if
buried 6 feet under
where nobody heard me scream.

so pray tell this,
is it true
or just an emotion?

- zmh

the ruins of me Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon