faking it | cake | mashton

[3] the change

A/N: SONG OF THE DAY:  “XO” by Emblem3

 UGH I FEEL LIKE THIS CHAPTER IS VERY VERY SHORT IDK.

SORRY.
                                      

       Ever since Michael and I spoke with Ashton about his feelings, Michael was distancing himself from everyone. It was starting to worry me, and there was nothing I could really do about it. Calum was the more confused about Michael’s actions than any of us were, because he didn’t even know about Ashton pouring his heart out to us. He slept through the entire conversation.

      Whenever I would try and talk to Michael, he would either totally ignore me or only give me one word responses. It wasn’t just me he did that with, either. He did it to anyone who tried to talk to him. I didn’t understand it at all.

      He’s had his headphones on for four hours so far today, and he’s only been up for four hours. He’s also been taking a lot of showers, too. He must be thinking long and hard about something, and it’s really starting to worry me.

      Ashton keeps worrying that it’s his fault Michael’s acting like this. Ashton claims that Michael was totally fine until he started talking to him, and it makes him really upset to think about it. I realized that I was going to eventually have to explain this whole situation to Calum.

      What would be a better time to explain everything than now? Calum was sitting next to me with his feet resting on the coffee table. I made sure to keep my voice down so the conversation would definitely stay between us.

      “Something about Michael had changed,” I spoke up, causing Calum to look at me. “I just know it. And whatever changed inside him, he is obviously afraid of it.”

      “What happened? He was fine yesterday,” Calum replied, discreetly moving some of his hair out of his face.

      “That’s where you’re wrong. He wasn’t fine yesterday,” I continued, and Calum was staring at me blankly. “He was fine up until last night. The three of us had a conversation while you were asleep. Michael and I approached Ashton about what was bothering him. Surprisingly, he told us.”

      “What’s been bothering him?”

      “He said that seeing the two of us act like a couple made him realize how badly he wishes he had someone to care for,” I told him. “It’s really sad to think about. After Ashton explained everything, Michael just wasn’t himself.”

      “Maybe he’s just sad for Ashton.” Calum spoke his thoughts.

      “Yeah, you’re probably right. Leave it to me to overcomplicate everything.” I said, and Calum only laughed.

[x]

      Later today, the four of us had to go to a meet and greet. I was hoping the fans wouldn’t notice something weird about Ashton or Michael. But knowing how well they know us, they probably would notice something.

      Seeing the fans was the cue for me and Calum to act like a couple. He held out his hand for me to take, and I grabbed onto it. We weren’t saying anything as we walked, and that only made our handholding more awkward. I looked over at Calum, and he was staring at his feet the entire time.

      I could feel people staring at us, but I didn’t want to look at them. I squeezed Calum’s hand, and he squeezed my hand back. When we arrived at the meet and greet, I was sitting the farthest to the left. Calum was beside me, then Ashton, then Michael.

      We smiled at the fans coming to meet us, asked them how they were, and signed a few autographs. I had some fans ask me about mine and Calum’s relationship, and I just told them everything was going great. I still feel guilty knowing I have to lie to them because of a stupid dare. I felt Calum nudge me, and he told me to look at Michael.

      Michael wasn’t being very convincing, and that worried me. If I could see through him, that meant the fans could, too. I heard Calum whisper: ‘tell Michael to smile’ to Ashton. Ashton nodded, leaning over to whisper into Michael’s ear. Michael didn’t even acknowledge Ashton’s existence, but at least we tried.

      “He totally ignored me,” I heard Ashton whisper to Calum. Ashton looked like he was about to cry, and that made my heart ache.

      “It’s okay, Ash. He’ll come around. He’s not upset with you,” Calum rubbed Ashton’s back, trying to calm him down before fans attacked him with questions about why we was crying.

      When the meet and greet was over, Ashton was still incredibly upset. I don’t know why Ashton was upset with himself, but he was, and it was heartbreaking to watch. I couldn’t help but be irritated that Michael saw what he was doing to Ashton, but he didn’t do anything to stop it.

      Once we got home, Ashton ran up to his bedroom and cried. Calum ran after him, and I stayed downstairs with Michael. I was really angry now.

      “What is wrong with you?” I hollered, and he didn’t acknowledge me. I pushed him against the wall, making him look at me. “What is bothering you so bad that you’re taking it out on us? Why are you being so hard on Ashton? He’s obviously really upset, and you’re just sitting there watching it happen. I want to know what’s bothering you, and I want to know now.”

      “Luke, I—”

      “Now.”

      “Okay, okay. I realized something yesterday when we were talking to Ashton. When he was saying how he wants to be loved and that he feels alone, I felt...responsible in a way,” Michael sighed, and then he continued. “He was looking right at me, Luke. He was staring at me with those sad eyes. Now it’s hard to look at him the same. It’s hard to face any of you. Something’s changed inside me, and my mind isn’t handling it so well.”

      “Your mind isn’t handling what so well?”

      “The fact that I’m...” Michael paused, unable to finish.

      “You’re what?”

      “I think I’m... I think I’m in love with Ashton.”