My Book of Bullshit

Crawling | Vanitas

She requested Crawling by Linkin Park (MAH JAAMMMM). Sorry it took so long. This drabble is kind of dark. Chester (the lead singer of LP) said that he wrote the song about drug and alcohol addiction so that's what the drabble is about. Video's on the side. Enjoy!

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You sat at the table of your apartment. You downed another gulp of wine from the bottle in front of you. Looking around, you realized that your apartment was quite messy. There were wine bottles on the ground, there was trash everywhere, broken lamps were on the floor, and the little furniture you had was either toppled over or broken.

Drinking the last bit of alcohol in the bottle, you threw it across the room. It hit the wall and shattered into a million pieces. You grabbed your phone from the table and stood up, making your way to the couch. There was stains all over it and it was ripped in some places but you couldn't afford anything else. You made sure it sit down where there were no broken springs. Once you sat, you checked the time one your phone. It was 10:15 pm.

You had nothing to do but sit there, your own thoughts consuming you. Sometimes you'd sit for hours on end trying to figure out how you ended up like this. It was something inside of you, pulling beneath the surface. Eventually, you came to the conclusion that you had no self control. You just felt so insecure about yourself nowadays. But then again, you'd felt this way before.

You had no idea how long you'd sat there for but the realization hit you that you were supposed to meet Vanitas at 10:00.

"Shit, Vanitas is going to kill me for being late."

You hurriedly grabbed your coat and wallet and made your way out of your apartment. Since you lived on the third floor of your apartment building, you made your way to the elevator. Pushing the button, you slipped on your coat. It hit ground and you dashed out. When you made it outside, you realized just how cold it was. The wind bit at your skin.

You made your way behind the building. You lived in the shady side of town so you had to be careful. Some males would stare at your cleavage but that was normal and you were used to it. When you managed to make it to the alleyway behind the apartment building without being killed, you saw Vanitas leaning against the wall with a bored expression on his face.

"Hey," You said nonchalantly.

He checked his phone and looked up at you with a smirk. "Late again. Do you even want it?" He joked as he held up the pouch.

You elbowed him in the stomach. "Of course I want it!"

"Jesus, woman." He groaned as he held his stomach. "You got the money? You barely had enough last time."

You nodded as you grabbed your wallet from your coat pocket and began to take out the select amount of bills you needed. Sure, it was expensive but it was worth it. You needed it. You craved it more than anything else. Once you had gathered all the green Vanitas wanted, you put your wallet away.

"Stole all of this money from people on the street." You smiled proudly.

"Ya know, I'm not so sure that's a good thing." Vanitas mumbled. He needed money too but at least he didn't steal, he sold. Not that that was much better but in his mind it was.

"Shut up. I needed it."

"Whatever you say, princess."

He grabbed the money from your hand and began counting it. After counting all of it, he handed you the pouch.

"Thanks, Van. See ya next Friday." You said.

"Any time." Vanitas muttered before walking off.

You were left alone in the alleyway to let your nightmarish thoughts consume you once again. You always asked yourself 'How did I end up like this?' but you already knew the answer. It only took a few bad decisions for a top medical student to fade into what you had become. You feared your lack of self control was never ending, and little did you know that you were completely right.

 It was confusing what was real.