to your smile so bright || jung jinyoung

× Chapter 14 - A Step Closer ×

by tt10500

the famous french writer Stendhal said

that when someone is in love, what the person loves

is not the other person,

but the fascination with him or herself being in love. 

Its nothing more than that

A week passed. We didn't text each other...for a whole week and 2 days.

My hand seemed to have a brain on its' own as I typed out 'well holidays ended' to him. I clicked send. Oh god. Instant regret filled my head as I tried to distract my mind. I checked his chat- if he would text back, but there was no sign of a reply. 10 minutes passed by. Soon, 15. Why did I even have to message him? I was never as nervous waiting for a message from him like before. Was this natural?

I got a notification and my heart fired up. It wasn't him. I didn't even bother to check what it was about as it wasn't from him. My heart sank back down.

Sigh, I wished my life was a kdrama, a kdrama where I was the first lead. Watching my friends take off in their lives with their boyfriends made me feel unwanted and hurt. Hurt by the fact that they would never noticed that they had often left me out and how little time I had with them, so I couldn't even talk about my problems.

| The next day |

It was the first day back at school and it was an assembly week, which meant that we had to sit in roll call lines in alphabetical order, whilst listening to the teacher's give their speeches and such. Jinyoung's last name was Jung. My last name was Han, which meant that my line was in front of his. I dared not to look back. I didn't want him catching me whilst looking at him, so I talked with my friend.

It was after third period (class). He was walking out of class across me and we would pass. My eyes were in the direction to where he had passed me. I quickly adjusted my eyes in the opposite direction, and he did too. Wait why was I avoiding him? I didn't do anything wrong. I looked back and he did too. Sheesh, alike minds I guess.

I quickly walked to my next class. I read back at my messages with him.

So many times, I was scared and unsure of his feelings. He really opened up a lot on text, but he was a little different in real life. I had missed talking with him. I wanted to just hide and never come out.

I kept repeating what he said in my mind. "If it's too awkward for you, we can be friends. Best friends." Did it look like we were best friends though? He hadn't text me all week and I was the first to text him- these days. He would always leave me on seen. Now I wasn't petty about that but he would leave me on seen when I was asking a question. It was like my chat was unnecessary.

It was soon his birthday in a few days and we hadn't talked much. My loneliness was only endured by me. My friends had left my side and now him. Youjung started giving me the silent treatment, but I didn't blame her. She had the whole life- studying hard and getting good grades, great friends and a great boyfriend. No wonder she couldn't recognise when I was down or when she had left me out. I had no one.

Life is so hard, I thought. But hiding your problems and pretending like you're happy is even harder. I told myself I wouldn't cry, but here I was, crying and complaining of life.

It was soon his birthday. I had already bought him gifts; fake round glasses and an a4 notebook. It wasn't much but I didn't know what else to get him. I texted him in the morning.

"Are you free at recess?" I asked.

"Yeah," he texted back.

"Ok where do I find you?" I texted again.

11 hours later...

"Y?"

"Y?" What? One. Why with just y? Two. Was it illegal to be finding him at recess? That shade.

"Because it's nearly your bday..." I sighed. "Lmao."

It was recess. He hadn't texted back where to meet him and I was waiting outside the canteen for ages, waiting to see him. 15 minutes passed, and I knew he wouldn't show up, so I decided to leave. Why did I even bother? I thought.

I was waiting outside the dance room for my friends to decide on a song to choreograph.

I suddenly got a call from my closest friend who knew I had liked him, and knew I was going to give his birthday present to him.

"How'd you go???" she asked buzzing with excitement as if she was the one receiving the present.

"He didn't come," I sighed. "At recess."

"What?" she asked, surprised. I was too busy ranting, sighing and talking to her in depth about what happened when Jinyoung showed up. I jumped and quickly hung up on her. How did he know I was here???

"OH-my sorry I got to go bye now-" I hung up.

He walked towards me and looked in the dance room and saw the younger grade dancers. They all stared at him like an intruder, but then nudged and looked at each other. Yes, he was jaw dropping. I quickly dragged him out, gave a sigh and rolled my eyes.

"What are you doing, dancing lol?" he laughed while looking inside. I called out to my friends who were waiting outside.

"Guys just go inside and decide on a song," I rushed. "I'll get back to you."

I told Jinyoung to close his eyes while I got his present out. I caught him peeping.

"Hey close your eyes!" I said.

"Ok, ok they're closed," he smiled.

I went to his bag and tried putting it there as a surprise but his bag was too full to fit anything. For the 100001th time, sigh. So awkward.

Instead, I asked him to hold out his hands and I left it there.

"Can I open my eyes now?" he asked, while smiling.

"Yes," I smiled.

He slowly opened his eyes and smiled.

"Wow you didn't have to get me this..." he started off. "Thanks Jiyoo."

My friends called me in to vote on the song and I had to leave. I checked my phone.

It was during 4th period class when he texted me before it was lunch.

"Meet outside sport notices?"

So that was why he was there...such coincidence. The dance room was right next to the sports notices.

| After school |

I got a text message from him and immediately opened it. It was a photo of him wearing the fake glasses I had gotten him.

"Almost couldn't recognise myself," he typed. "Love it, thanks."

"All good, haha," I texted. "Does it fit loose though?"

"No." he texted back. He then sent a gif of a half naked man lip syncing something I couldn't understand. Instead of saying anything, I just hearted it. I didn't want to get seen zoned again.

"Whoops..." he wrote. "Wrong one."

"Lol." I texted. Argh. I should have known I was going to get seen zoned after this. He had seen zoned me. Sigh, I was going to have to get used to it.

Birthday countdown: 2 days.