I Let You Down

Tug Of War

I closed my eyes and had a terrible dream, I dreamt that y/n killed herself by jumping out of the window. Before we had a big fight and she went upstairs, I didn't know what to do. I stayed downstairs. Something dragged me to her room, and made me watch. I sat up quickly sat up and had tears in my eyes, i felt y/n wrap her arms around me. I was breathing heavily, with my eyes wide. I soon calmed down when the warmth of her arms got to me.

"Its okay Levi, It was just a dream." She whispered softly. I stopped my shaking and laid back down without a word. I only ever do this alone, its weird that I did it when i was with her...

****Y/N POV****

I looked at him with worry, I had been up all night with worry. I wrapped my arm around him and stroked his arm. I kissed his cheek as I felt the racing of his heart slow. He fell asleep and I went downstairs to get tea. I sat on the couch and looked at the oven clock, it read 2:45 in the morning. I sighed and turned on the TV, I watched but cried. Twisted memories took over me, that feeling of numbness hung on my shoulders. I thought of light reflecting off of a blade, I thought of red dripping from a knife. Thoughts buzzed around my head, I shook with fear, hoping for warm arms to surround me. But they didn't, my hopes never came through, I was hopeless. I stood up suddenly and went upstairs. It felt as if a part of me didn't want to stand up, like it knew this was a bad idea. My buzzing thoughts lead me upstairs to my bathroom, to a cupboard, to the blade. I picked it up in my hand and lightly pressed it against my skin. I tug or war started in my mind, Yes.No.Yes.No. I was torn. I have been doing so well. I deserve this. Don't go back, you're doing better! Do it, i'm a worthless piece of shit! I dropped it and screamed. I can't do this!! I collapsed to the floor and sobbed. Levi came rushing in and looked at the situation.

****Levis POV****

"What the hell happened?!" I kneeled down and hugged her, no blood was on the floor so she did not cut. I held her in my embrace as se shook. "Its okay y/n. I okay, im here, I love you so much y/n." She tried to calm her but she still shook. I brought her out of the bathroom, intending to clean out the bathroom of blades. For both myself and her.