Treat Shani With Kindness

Sofia (@yeahnoshitsherlock)

"Shani and I became friends, because I sent her a manip-picture of Harry's dick." 

(I know this isn't quite the wedding event that I promised I'd give this speech at, but it still felt like the proper opener.)

Sweet, amazing, loving, strong, awesome Shani!

I love you for so many reasons, I could probably have written 99 entries by myself. If there's one thing I want in to achieve today, it's to make you happy. And also to recreate some of your smut scenes with Harry Styles, but that's apparently not happening, so... Here's a couple of reasons why I love you.

1. You babble almost as much as I do. We lose track so much in our conversations, and I don't know how we do it, but somehow, we never stay on one topic. Ever. From adoption laws to smut in 0.5 seconds. We have perfected the art of distracting each other, and I love it. We started with a smutty pic on Instagram, and now look at us. 

2. The guy wasn't there so you got fucking Pringles, and I knew then and there that you were my spirit animal! (Yeah, you're not ever gonna live that one down)

3. You have a dirty, dirty mind and I. Love. It! Keep it smutty, girl!

4. You are excitable. I made a joke about calling a fucking management firm and the only reason I ended up actually doing it was because you got excited about it. Your giddiness was so contagious, I ended up very nearly getting myself in trouble at work and giving myself a new charity event to organise. But it made you giggle, so it was all worth it. 

5. You know how to have a serious conversation. Because sometimes, shit gets dark. And I know where to go when it does. I hope you know that my DMs are always open for you to slide into. Like all day, every day. And I will do my very best to cheer you up, no matter how big that raincloud is that's trying to piss on your day. I'll be there with a leaf blower trying to blow it away, because ain't no cloud raining on my girl!

6. You...get me? I don't know, I just feel like whatever I tell you, you know what I mean, even if it doesn't make all that much sense. You even get my sarcasm. Plus, you're the only person I can have a very serious discussion with about a fictional scenario that is highly unlikely to ever occur and also ridiculously stupid.

7. You're creative. I mean, duh. That's why we're all here. Your mind is a wonderland. And I love you for letting me peek into it, occasionally.

8. You put a lot of effort into every single detail in your books. From how to get to a pool club to writing legal letters of intent, I know this first hand. Everything there is to know, you need to know. And it gives your books depth and it makes them feel real, and it's perfectionist and that is great!

9. Trust isn't ever given lightly. I trust you with things and stories that I don't tell others. You know a part of me that not many others get to see. And I feel like it's the same vice versa, and I just want to thank you for that with all my heart.

10. You make me LAUGH. Like, anything from the small tug at the corner of my lips, to full on cackling, to tears-in-my-eyes-guffaws, to wheezing because when I laugh too hard my voice gives out. Plus, you're sense of humour is awesome, by which I mean you laugh at my jokes. I wish more people had your sense of humour. Seriously, part of the reason why I love you so much is because you're the only person who appreciates how truly funny I am. 

11. I cannot wait to read everything you come up with, because it's always, without fail, the best time of my day.

12. I'm your secretary, and it's high-key my preferred job to the one I actually have.

13. You let me rant. Yeah, we've established that I talk a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Whenever I have a stressful day, you're the only person I want to talk to, and I guess that sucks for you, because I'm no fun when I'm stressed. But you actually listen? To all of it? And I don't know where you take the patience from. So thanks!

14. You will marry Harry Styles one day, and if it's the last thing I do! If not, we already have a plan for the "donation". (Yup, not gonna let this go, ever.)

15. There are very few people on this planet that I will get up at 5am for, and you are one of them. Well, let's face it, there isn't much I wouldn't do for you. Like, if you were every really sad and I had the cash, I'd just hire Harry Styles to follow you around singing songs to you. Like, all day long. And if that didn't cheer you up, at least you'd have Harry Styles.

16. "...there might have been the slightest amount of fondling involved" is high-key my favourite line of yours, mostly because I love teasing you about it. Seriously, I don't think I've laughed harder before.

17. Talking to you is like listening to my favourite song. Except, when I love a song I tend to play it too much and I sorta get sick of it after a while, but I never get sick of you!

18. Do you know who I love more than I love Harry Styles? No one. But you're a narrow second. Like, so close. 😏

19. You don't know you're beautiful (pun fully intended. Sorry, I had to). Seriously, you really don't have a clue how pretty you are, and you're like a 10 on the prettiness scale, and that's coming from a fellow 10, so I know what I'm talking about 😏😂

20. And that's what makes you beautiful. (Yeah, I'll fuck off now)

There is a lot more I want to say, and I will, but in Private (get ittt?)

Anyway, sweetcheeks, I appreciate our friendship every day. None of my days would feel complete without talking to you. Also, I plan on bugging and teasing and loving you every single day for the forseeable future, so get used to it!

Love ya!