Baby, Don't Cry

Chapter 29

It's been four months since I've been with Tate. I think I'm happy. I think I deserve to be happy. But, am I really happy?

"Baby?" I asked, "Yes?" Tate replied. "Am I ever going to be able to meet your parents? I mean, I'm not rushing you or anything, I'm just curious why you never talk about your parents." I felt Tate move positions and release his tight grip on me. "Mariana, not everyone has a great mom like Demi. I'm sure you'll meet them one day, but just trust me, you don't want to meet them now." He said. I smiled and nodded.

After the bell rang, Tate walked me to my next class, Geometry, and dropped me off. "Be productive." He said as he kissed my forehead. I smiled and went into class.

I think I love Tate, I really do, but he's secretive and acts like his job in this relationship is to protect me. That's great, but how are we ever going to be serious if all we ever talk about is myself. It's a self-centered relationship to me.

About 30 minutes into the period, I received a text from Demi.

I'm out front. I have a doctors appointment and I want you there.

I'm so glad that I can leave Geometry. I let my teacher know that I was leaving, and met Demi out front. I laughed as I saw her stuff her face with a Chipotle burrito she had ordered. "Want some?" She asked with rice spilling out of her mouth. I laughed and kindly denied. I guess you shouldn't go to an ultrasound hungry.

It didn't take us long to get to the doctors.

"Miss Lovato?" A blonde lady shouted. Demi smiled and held my hand as we both walked into the back for the ultrasound. As they set Demi up, my phone beeped.

Where are you? Why aren't you in school?

Then it beeped again,

Mariana, answer.

"Who is that, baby girl?" Demi asked, concerned. I smiled, "It's Tate wondering where I went. It's all okay." I turned my phone off without responding and held Demi's hand tighter as she prepared to hear the gender of her baby.

"Actually, could you write down the gender of the baby and seal it in an envelope for me? I'm not ready to know just yet." Demi asked.

Perfect! As the doctor sealed the envelope, I grabbed it before Demi could get her hands on it.

"Hey! I wanted that!" Demi pouted, making me laugh. She's adorable. "You're not going to get it until I throw you a gender reveal party, okay? Surprise to you and everyone else, but not me." I said. Demi smiled, I think she likes the idea.

"Okay, as soon as I wipe off your stomach you are free to go. Take it easy, and good luck on your reveal!" The kind blonde lady said. Demi smiled and nodded, as she grabbed her things and prepared to leave.

I followed Demi out of the back and then decided to turn my phone back on. I had 50 missed texts and 12 missed calls from Tate. Seriously, what is wrong with him? He's so over protective. That's great, but I need a boyfriend, not a body guard all the time.

The ride home was silent, I could definitely tell Demi was thinking. I decided not to bother her, because I was busy thinking too.

As we pulled into the driveway, I noticed Tate, standing at our doorstep with a red face. I sighed. "Baby girl? Is every thing okay? I-I can tell him to leave." Demi said, but I shook my head no. I closed the car door behind me and immediately Tate ran over to me and began asking me questions.

I managed to ignore him all the way up the stairs and into my bedroom before closing the door behind us. "Can you please stop asking me questions? I was at a doctors appointment with Demi! I didn't know that I had to tell you, I'm sorry!" I yelled.

"Of course you have to tell me, I'm your boyfriend. I thought something happened to you, you weren't texting me back!" He yelled back.

I couldn't help it anymore. I broke down and cried into my hands. "I can't do this!" I cried.

"What do you mean you can't do this?" Tate asked. Tate began crying.

"This doesn't feel like love, it feels like you're my bodyguard or something. We're not what we used to be. I'm in love with you but it's hard. I don't know if I can tell you where I am or what I'm doing 24/7. I need you to understand that." I said, wiping my tears.

"So, what are you saying?" Tate asked, his face getting more red by the second.

"I think we should just be friends." I said.

"Friends? No! Never!" He yelled.

"Yes. Please. It doesn't have to be this way." I said. This is frustrating.

"If you- if you break up with me now, I will kill myself. I will kill myself and it will be your fault because you broke up with me!" He screamed into my face.

I don't know what to do. I don't want him to kill himself. I want to be friends. I don't want another toxic relationship. I stood quiet as I watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a shiny weapon.

A gun.

Tate held a gun to his head, threatening to kill himself in my room, right in front of me.

"I will kill myself right now, in this room if you break up with me. When I said we are in this together, I mean that we are in this together. You can't break up with me. I will pull the trigger." Tate cried, taking the safety off the gun.

"No, put the gun down, please. I won't break up with you. I still love you. Please, put the gun down!" I asked him. He didn't move.

"Do you promise?" He asked.

"I promise." I said as he slowly placed the gun on the ground and embraced me into a hug.

I don't promise. I don't love him anymore. I feel trapped. I need to get out.

I stayed in his embrace for a while to ensure him that everything is okay. But, in reality it's not.

After about 5 hours, Tate finally went home and I jumped in the shower. I grabbed my box of shiny metals that I treasured. I picked out the sharpest one and began to sing as I slashed away.

If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a bed of roses

Sink me in the river at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song.

Please, send me away.