Baby, Don't Cry

Chapter 30

It's been hard lately. Demi's mood swings, Tate's threats to kill himself, and Nick's new obsession with alcohol, it's almost like I can't get a break. I barely sleep, I'm always tired, and it's like I'm taking care of three children.

I grabbed my bag and some extra pencils before walking to school. Demi wouldn't wake up, and I understand because she's 7 months pregnant and she's exhausted. We had Demi's gender reveal last month and found out that she's having a precious baby girl.

Ask me if I'm jealous. No, I'm not because maybe after the baby is born I'll be able to focus on myself rather than Nick and Demi.

I walked through the school doors and immediately made eye contact with Tate. Here we go again. I smiled and laughed as I wrapped my arms around him. "I missed you baby." Tate said as he kissed my lips. "I missed you more", I lied. My whole life is a lie.

Tate dropped me off to English and kissed my on the forehead. After he turned around, I wiped it off as fast as I could before taking my seat.

I wish I didn't have to live a lie. I wish I didn't have to live at all. Tate would move on, Demi has another baby girl, and Nick doesn't care about me anyway. I'd be better off dead.

"Mariana, are you paying attention?" My English teacher asked. I nodded my head without looking up. I heard a soft sigh before hearing his loud voice again. When the period ended, I decided to leave the building and get some fresh air. I received texts from Tate, but today I didn't care. Today I didn't have time to receive the same threat.

I began to walk towards the woods and take in the scenery. My phone kept buzzing, so I left it at the beginning of the trail, I'll return for it. I grabbed a long stick and used it to help climb the small mountain I began to climb.

It wasn't long before I climbed all the way to the top. I did fall once or twice, but it was worth it. I could pretty much see a majority of the town beneath me. I sat near a tree and laid my head on it before sleep took over my body. I didn't fight it either.

I gently woke up to the sound of crickets and the twinkling stars in the night sky. 'Shit', I muttered to myself. I didn't bring my phone, Demi's probably worried sick. I used the flashlight on my Apple Watch to navigate back down the hill to where I started, only to notice that my phone was gone. I didn't even care.

I zipped up my jacket and began the walk back to the house where I learned to hate. It's a shame that the one person I thought I could trust couldn't care less about how I feel anymore. It's like I'm just another person to her. Maybe it's me.

I arrived home at last. It's 2:03am, and all of the lights in the house are on. I opened the door and began the painful walk towards the stairs, but I was stopped by a red-eyed Demi.

"Where have you been? I was worried sick!" Demi yelled more than she was relieved. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet. "Now you don't have anything to say? You could've called, or answered our texts at least! You're so irresponsible. I give you the opportunity to freely do whatever you want to do, whenever, and you take advantage of it? It's 2:03am, I'm tired, the house is tired, go upstairs to your room and don't come back out for the night. You're staying home tomorrow." Demi yelled. A tear came out of my eye, but I wiped it before it dripped too far down my cheek. I nodded and headed upstairs.

"And Mariana?" Demi said, I turned around and looked. "I'm very disappointed."

Well, shit. I didn't upset her, I disappointed her. I could cry, but I need to stay strong. I have to get stronger for myself, since nobody else supports my recovery anymore. I want to be better, but it's so hard.

As I opened the door I threw my jacket onto the bed and faced the wall as I broke down into tears. I grabbed the towel I forgot to put back into the bathroom, wiped my face with it, then headed into my bathroom to place it where it belongs.

As I opened the bathroom door, I see Tate, sitting inside of my shower. I rolled my eyes.

"Tate, what are you doing? It's too late for this, I'm tired." I said, defeated.

"Why didn't you tell me where you were going? I would've gone too." He said, eyes red from the excessive amount of crying he had done.

"I'm sorry. Now can you please go home?" I asked as I turned around, but I didn't hear Tate get up to leave, I heard him pull out his gun and switch the safety off before holding it to his head.

"No, I won't go home. I can tell you don't want to be with me, and I'm going to kill myself. I don't want to live if I'm without you. I love you, Mariana." Tate cried, tightening his grip on his gun.

"I do love you, but you can't do this every time I don't text you back. It's not fair to guilt me into this relationship. It's over. I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore." I said, finally telling the truth.

"I knew you didn't want me. This is all my fault. I'm sorry to be such a burden to you. Say the word and I'll pull the trigger." Tate cried, and begged me to say the word.

"No, put the gun down and let's talk this out." I begged. Tate shook his head no,

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to end this way." Tate cried. I moved closer to him, but before I could reach him, his finger pulled the trigger and a loud BOOM echoed throughout the house as his blood splattered over the walls and my body.

I released a deafening scream as I climbed into the shower with Tate and attempted to cover the wound. I felt his heartbeat grow slower and slower as I heard the screams of both Demi and Nick. "Call 911!" I shouted, as Nick ran for the phone.

In that moment, I became numb. It was all my fault.

I couldn't catch my breath, I couldn't not see the blood splattering the walls and all over my body, I couldn't not feel his heartbeat stop. I couldn't not blame myself.

I'm so numb that everything went black