The Pirate & The Princess [KaneTou]

9

Touka's eyes shot open and her heart almost flew out of her chest when she saw Kaneki's face right in front of hers. His eyes were closed, and he had his arms around her, preventing her from getting up. She wiggled her body out and away from him, and held her breath when he made a noise and opened his eyes. 

With a sleepy gaze directed at her, he touched her forehead and smiled. "Your fever is gone."

"Of course. I promised you that I'd survive."

Leaning his forehead against hers, he pulled her close and smiled. Her heart raced in her chest at the proximity and his handsome smile. "Mm. You did."

"As promised, you're to tell me about your best friend. Tell me everything."

She hated how that one sentence was enough to make him frown.

"..alright. It happened one night when I accidentally spilled a bucket of water on the deck, and the captain punished me by making me sleep outside without any pillows or blankets. As you know, sleeping on the deck can freeze someone to death and I think he wanted me to learn my lesson by giving me that punishment."

Touka caressed his cheek and pushed the bangs away from his face. He closed his eyes and sighed. 

"Instead of me sleeping on the deck for 3 nights, Hide suggested that he did, saying that his body was stronger than my frail one. Of course, I disagreed but he was stubborn and refused to let it go. Eventually, the captain caught us and punished us with an additional week. By that time, Hide was already feeling unwell and still insisted on giving me his clothes to cover myself. And he succumbed to the illness—" he choked a sob, a tear falling down his cheek and she kissed it away.

His heart warmed at how gentle she was with him; caressing his cheeks before running her fingers into his white hair and wiping his tears away in the process. 

"It was all my fault. If I hadn't angered the captain, none of this would have happened. Hide wouldn't have died from the illness and had I not been so weak, I could have prevented his death. I should have been the one who died. He had so many things to do in his life. He wanted to visit many places, do something for the poor, and eventually settle down and get married with children. But he couldn't do any of that, because of me."

In front of her was no longer the strong pirate who kidnapped her and locked her in the cabin, but a man who had reverted to his young, vulnerable and regretful young boy. His body shook from his sobs, teeth bit down on his lower lip and tears fell down his cheeks. Her heart ached when she saw him like this and she wanted to comfort him, make him feel better, be there for him. 

"It's not your fault. I know that. It's the captain's. Don't beat yourself up over this. You didn't want to spill the bucket on purpose, you disagreed to having your friend take the blame for you and you shared the burden when you slept on the deck together with him for that extra 1 week. You were brave." Using her thumb to wipe a falling tear away, she frowned as his sorrowful grey eyes looked into hers. "Don't say that you want to be the one who died instead. If you did, other people will be sad."

"I had no family and no other friends other than Hide. No one will cry over my death. But Hide, he had so many friends."

"Okay, I'll rephrase my sentence. I will be sad if you died. If you had, I wouldn't have met you and gotten the chance to know you better. You're a good man, and you deserve so much more."

If she knew what he had done, she wouldn't be saying that. But for now, he was content with that as Touka pulled him to her chest and held him close. He slowly closed his eyes and comforted by her steady heartbeat—a sign that she was alive,—he fell asleep faster than he ever had for the many years he's been on this ship. In her arms, he felt cherished, he felt safe and he wanted to remain there forever.