I was 17. I was alone. I was broken.
To say I was devastated would be an understatement. Yet there was no word strong enough I could think of that could describe what I felt.
And I still had the AUDACITY to put the planning in my own hands, I didn't believe anybody could organize it better. He should be honored and no one knew him better than I did. Everything had to be done in his memory and what he would have wanted.
But most importantly, because I was being selfish.
I was using the funeral planning as a way for me to suppress my emotions because I didn't want to deal with them. I didn't want to cry. I didn't want people to look at my broken self and pity me. And when the funeral happened, I gave my speech and made sure to be strong. For him.
My plan was to always keep myself busy until the feelings went away. I gave up singing for the world because it wasn't the same not having my father with me.
I went back to school and crammed as much as I could into my schedule so I wouldn't have time to think. When I got my degree I kept working at my aunt's restaurant because subconsciously, I felt unworthy of doing anything good for myself.
All this in four years.
My aunt begged me to say something about him and to try and get help, but denial isn't just a river in Egypt and I refused to accept that I was in need of help and to actually break down the wall I built.
So I protected and cared for Fish because it was all I had left beside my aunt and uncle.
My style of music changed and the music I wrote was very bland. I had no emotion to project into what I wrote. Love songs had no depth. And breakup music felt depressing for all the wrong reasons. And eventually became generic and writing music became a bit of a chore. So when I got offered the job I became hesitant but for one reason or another I felt it could all change for the better.
Little did I know that this choice would help me more than I thought it would.
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A/N: I answered the cliffhanger from bonus 2!!
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I'm Your Boss
RomanceWhen young college graduate Amelia Aragon goes back to working for the record company she used to work for, having a contract that still stands and having a family relationship with the owner, she finds she has a somewhat different position now. To...
