OMG! it was just a crush!!

Episode 24 - A Lost Soul

Days followed by months, Mohit kept on texting and calling and I didn’t bother to pick up or call back. He had by now understood about what ‘we ladies’ were speaking about him in his office that day. Day-by-day it started becoming difficult for me to roam around with Harsh for our fests and other works, since I knew Mohit was not a goner, he could come out of no-where and punch Harsh right in his face and create a mess. I was scared of that.

Today was a normal collage day and I decided to stay back at Harsh’s place just to keep away from all the chaos. My attendance was filled up generally because of my participation and that day, Shreya took a leave as well. Harsh’s mom went off to work leaving me in charge of the kitchen management.

“I made you lunch Harsh. Come over here right now and eat whatever I have made” I yelled at Harsh over the phone.

“Which part of ‘I am in college right now’ you don’t understand” He said.

“Well you’re going to eat that as soon as you get home. You get me? Because I’m leaving now” I almost ordered.

“I dare say a no to that. Oh and by the way, where are you going?” He questioned.

“I am going home Harsh. I don’t feel comfortable here after your mom leaves. I feel alone.” I spoke up. I really hated the quietness there. I was used to all the noise and the horns buzzing and street vendors shouting. I spent most of the time away from all that now and since Harsh had all known about me and Mohit, he preferred me staying away from all the college issues and noises as well.

“No. Listen. I’m coming in 15 minutes. Hang in there, okay?” he said and we hung only when he got my hmmm. Harsh, by now had become the ideal best buddy. He was always around whenever I needed to talk or to cry or to hug. He even put me to sleep a lot of times. I was looking into the window, down to the bushes grown in the rain. I felt someone hold my hand. I knew it was Harsh and just rested my head on his shoulder. I felt so comfy so relaxed.

“Everything fine now?” he asked. I just hummed to it and let the moment pass.

“Rad’s? Will you hear me out for once?” he asked and sat me down on the couch “Will you talk to Mohit? For me? I can’t see you devastated, love” he said. He was right. Mohit was at fault, no wonder about that. But, I was at even more fault by not listening to his side of the argument. I decided to call him but then again how stupid would I sound? So I waited until I got home. In the evening, when I was about to call him, my phone buzzed to his call. Issues were, my parents did not know about the break up and since Harsh was there, I hardly faced them alone.

“Hello” I said. My heart was pounding at the highest speed it had ever been to.

“Radhika, please don’t hang on me. Will you talk to me for once? Please?” he said and tears started to roll down my cheek. I just hummed to him.

“Rad’s I know it has been my fault all the time. I should have told you about me and Monica. Please forgive me for this. I really miss you. It is always been you, sweetheart” he said and continued “I cannot think my life, my future without you love, please don’t do this to me” I couldn’t speak anything. It had been months now, I had been avoiding his calls all the time and now suddenly again I started having second thoughts. Should I? I was happy with him but he lied to me. I cannot just leave him with his mistake. I thought to myself.

“Please, speak something, anything? Argue? Curse me. But don’t hate me. I can’t take it.” He said and broke down.

“Please don’t cry! I need some time to think about this Mohit. Hope you understand me.” I said.

“Okay. Take your time” He said. We went quite for a while. He again broke the silence.

“About Monica, she headed back to US.” He said. I again hummed and again there was a lot of awkward silence.

“How is Ma?” I asked him.

“Ma is fine. She misses you. I took her to doctor day before. She was asking about you” He said.

“Does she know about this?” I asked.

“About our fight, No, About Monica and me, yes” He said. I couldn’t speak more.

“We will talk some other time. I have to go now. Bye” I said and hung before he says anything. I couldn’t hold back my tears. That night, I cried. My phone buzzed after some time. It was Harsh.

“Did you speak to him?” He asked.

“Yes, we spoke”

“What did he say and what did you say?” He asked. I told him the entire thing. Tears seemed like a no way to stop. They just gushed down my cheek and I couldn’t do anything to make them stop.

“Okay. Well done. Now just answer me this once. Do you really love him? Is he the one, the one who can keep you happy, your family happy?” He asked. I knew he was. One lie doesn’t decide anything about anyone. May be whatever he did was the right thing to do because I know myself. I would never settle for some play boy. Not that he was one, but the situation would make him one and he would have to prove to me about it. I thought to myself.

“If yes, then don’t let him go. Let him suffer for the lie, but don’t let him go” he said and hung. I kept thinking of Mohit and that put me to sleep.

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