Thanks To You -Spencer Charnas

V

-Caroline-

  "And We..... are ice nine kills," fuck me right?
My head is spinning and yet I can't take my eyes away from him and his band. It's all so surprising and actually good. I keep looking and holding onto Sam for support. "Since when is he is a band!" She emphasizes. I shrugged and his eyes met mine again. I instantly calmed. I don't know why but in this light he seems different. Like he isn't this total douche bag I know from high school. For the rest of their set he kept meeting my gaze and basically eye raping me. I didn't hate it... what the hell am I saying...

   "Let's go," I grab Sams arm and walk back to where Jake was; plopped at a bar stool. I turn to him. "Get me a drink and let's leave," he looks at me shocked.

   "It's not over yet why are you trying to leave?" I look to Sam for help but she was gone again.... and I said good friend right? I shake my head knowing I'll deal with that rudeness later. "Just get me a drink pls. Preferably vodka and redbull," yup I'm going to go there. Jake turns to the bar and orders me my drink. Waiting there as patient as one could be to get drunk; a hand taps my shoulder. "Oh Samantha you better have a good reason for leaving me," I say just turning.

   "Well I'm not Samantha but I do have some words for you," if I had the guts to shit myself right now I would. Spencer smirks at me.
"What Carrie? You look like you've seen a ghost," he laughs. I turn to Jake looking for my drink. 

   "Hey y'all were good out there! Care, you know him?" Jake asks handing me my drink. My heart is pounding at this point.

  "Oh yeah, me and Care go way back, right?" I sip my heaven and somewhat nod. I hate him and that devilish smile of his that cuts through my exterior. He leans in close to my ear. "Can we talk?" I look at him confused. What? Why? I ask myself. But of course curiosity got the best of me and I nod again and of course take another sip.

   He grabs my hand and pulls me towards a more secluded area of the venue. Oh god this is it. He is going to kill me. I knew it would be something like this.... actually I didn't but that's what your supposed to say right? He turns to me and I can visibly see his hard demeanor fall. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Seeing some local bands with some friends. Why do you care," I snap. He seems surprised by my hostility. "I just didn't picture you liking this kind of music..." I roll my eyes. Of course he didn't. He sees me as some scared puppy and a nerd and all the above. "Well, if you stoped treating people like trash and toys maybe you could get to know people better," I swear I would never say this to him any other time. Thank you liquid courage! Again, that same wave of hurt flashes over his face... but why?
   "Did you like the show?" He said nicely. I shrug.

   "You aren't that bad... I didn't know you were in a band." He laughed and awkwardly rubs the back of his head. "Yeah, some of the guys and I from school all formed it a couple years ago. We didn't start taking it out in public or serious until last year. Thank to Mr Saltz," I told you that man was great. I have never seen Spencer so calm and relaxed. It's super weird and I don't know if I like it. His eyes meet mine again and I fall. Why are these hazel eyes so deep. It makes me want to adventure father into the being known as Spencer Charnas.

  "Yeah, Mr. Saltz is pretty cool," I said nervously. "Well I'm really glad you enjoyed the show Caroline," there... right there. He said my name. Not Carrie not Carebear. Caroline. It sounded so natural rolling off his tongue. Get ahold of yourself. I smile at him and he smiles at me. For a moment I feel like I have met a completely different person.

  If only it lasted. We were interrupted by some of his band mates; who I know from school, coming up to him. "Hey Spence. Oooo. Carrie Fisher, what you doing here?" JD says with disgust. I look down in embarrassment. This is where this story takes it turn... not for the better either.

  "I was here asking this nerd the same question. She's stalking me bro," I look at him amazed. What an asshole. But what should I have expected. I scoff and roll my eyes. "Get out of here. We don't need any groupies," his words hurt, but they have hurt since sophomore year. I flip him off and walk away. I should have known it was all fake. He was being nice and I fell for it. How could Spencer Charnas be nice. He is an asshole and a bully.

   Finally Sammy come out of nowhere. " Hey Care.... hey? Why are you crying?" I didn't even know I was crying. Why am I crying. I quickly wipe my tears away and shrug.

    "Can we leave now?"

___________________________

  Once I got home all I saw was my mom in the same spot. Guess the alcohol really got her this time. I grab the nearest blanket off the ottoman and lay it over her. I must have disturbed her because I get met by a fist to the face. I step back holding my face. I'm not surprised.

"Don't fooking wakeee me up... you fackin bish," yup... another night, another bottle. Her eyes aren't even open and yet she knew it was me. She is asleep again in no time. I sigh and feel tears crawling down my face. I want everything back to the way it used to be. Walking upstairs and I gaze at the door that cause all of this. I find myself stopped in front of it, aching to turn the knob and surround myself in the smell. But I don't. I just cry and run back to my room. I stare at my reflection in my mirror, to see the bruise already forming.

   This is why everyone hates me. I'm ugly and broken. That's all everyone will ever see me as. The broken one who should have been taken. I know I should have been. But I can't change anything anymore. I fall onto my bed and a sigh is released on impact. I should probably sleep but I know the nightmares won't let me. Why did this happen to me? Why everyone just leave me alone.

*BUZZ BUZZ*

I stop with my pity party and look over at my phone.

-unknown #-
'Hey Carrie! I'll be at your place by noon. Look pretty for me.'

I throw my phone across the room and hug my knees. I hate him. I wish he would disappear. I wish it would all just disappear

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Hey guys!!! I hope you enjoyed that little chapter!! So I know none of these chapters are long but it's because I plan to write a lot! I come up with most of this on the spot and just go with the flow. So here are some questions you can ask yourselves for the next chapters to come.... why was Spencer nice to her? What's the tea with Spencer???
What is Caroline's internal conflict and the nightmares about?? You will all soon learn MUWAHAHAHA. sorry I'm weird! I hope you all enjoyed and please remember to vote.

-lex