Beautifully Disturbed | ✓

[39]

Laila's POV

I wake up to, of course, Alex not at home. I sigh and continue with my morning routine. It's a beautiful Friday morning.

I shower, brush my teeth, and change into new pyjamas. I usually stay in my comfortable pyjamas if I don't have anywhere to go because I can't be bothered to dress up. I perform Fajr (morning prayer) and go downstairs for breakfast.

I open the fridge. "Oh no! I seriously forgot we don't have anything to eat." I groan.

I quickly go upstairs to grab my purse and scarf. I look at myself in the full-length mirror. "Um, it'll just be a quick trip to the store, so one will notice my pyjamas if I wear my jacket the whole time."

I just need any excuse to not have to change into publicly acceptable clothes. Comfort is my way to go.

Besides, my pants look like sweatpants and— "Jeez, Laila! No one cares what you wear to Walmart! Why do you overthink everything?" I scold myself.

I slip on my winter jacket and grab the keys to the car that I still can't believe that I own.

I connect my phone to the car Bluetooth. I always prefer listening to my own music versus the radio because the ones I listen to are never played on the radio.

I turn on on the song Drugs by Eden.

Yes, I know what everyone is thinking. Laila, drugs, out of all things? Really?

Well, the song isn't technically about drugs. Pretty sure the person doesn't even mention the word in the song.

But, which hijabi or spiritual girl hasn't turned up to some songs about drugs at once in their life and pretend to be badass, even though they'd never even touched any drug besides Tylenol or something?

I make sure to say a prayer before starting my drive.

As the song begins, I start thinking about Alex's sudden emotional swings.

"What if he has a mood disorder... depression? His behaviour closely resembles intermittent explosive disorder, but it can also be borderline personality disorder." I groan in frustration.

I can't confirm anything without a medical therapy session. Actually, I personally can't confirm anything since it's ethically wrong for me to do so without sending Alex to an official psychiatrist. I, myself, can't perform the therapy because I'm too emotionally close to him.

"Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes. But still, I could always be whatever you wanted, but not what you needed, especially when you been needing me..." The song plays on as I begin to get lost in my thoughts.

My mind swarms with various thoughts: will this ever work out with Alex? Will I only receive nothing but mixed signals from him as long as we're together?

"'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes. And I'll say what I don't mean just 'cause I wanted, or maybe I need it. Swear, lying's the only rush I need—" the song gets cut off as my phone starts ringing.

The dashboard says Alex is calling. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear, I smile as I roll my eyes. I click the button to pick up the call.

"Hello?" I say.

"Pack your bags for the weekend." He says.

"Wha—Huh?" I'm instantly confused.

"It's a three day trip, pack appropriately." He doesn't bother explaining further.

"I'm on my way to the grocery store to pick up some food. How quick do I need to pack? What do I pack?" I ask.