Agents of Love

Gunter

It galled me to be in the same room with these men. To be considered one of them. I found the very idea abbhorant. My father was proud of me, proud of the iron cross I had earned, the scars on my body. Little did he care for the scars on my very soul.

Oh I played the dutiful son, the good soldier. I laughed, I made jokes and smoked their cigars. I listened and filed away information that may be useful for the allied forces. The more they drank, the more they talked, and the more my stomach roiled at the nonchalant way they chatted about the extermination initiative. I drank more than I should have, and soon I was a bit worse for wear.

When I finally bid everyone good night and headed for the stairs I stumbled a bit but caught myself on the railing. I had just begun the climb up the stairs when my father called to me from the library.

"Gunter, a moment " he said gravely, all traces of his previous joviality gone.

Taking a deep breath I steeled myself for whatever was to come next, then turned and headed back down the steps. "Yes sir?" I queried.

"Just a moment of you please, I wanted to give you something." My father led the way back into the room. The other two men were embroiled in quite the drunken chess match oblivious to my reentry to the room.

My father smiled at me a bit drunk. "Before I forget, I wanted to give you this. To celebrate you see. You coming home, back to Germany." He opened his desk drawer and removed an intricate ceremonial knife.

From where I stood I could see the flash of gold engraving around the red and black swastika emblem. I sighed, "Father I never left Germany. I'm sorry for what it's worth. For the embarrassment I've caused you and mother. The worry..." I trailed off, meeting his eyes.

"I know it's hard son." He murmured, suddenly seeming sober and much older. "Whatever comes, your mother and I love you."

I nodded my head in acknowledgment, tears threatening to spill from my eyes and I swallowed back my emotion. I wanted nothing more than to tell him everything but I couldn't. Too much was at stake. I couldn't risk Anna, I couldn't even trust my own father. "I know dad. I love you too." I murmured thickly.

"Enough of Ll that." My father said quietly. "Now off to bed with you! Your mother wants grandbabies!"

I laughed humorlessly as I headed once more for the stairs. Wishing, not for the first time that I was not the son of a prominent Nazi part member. Yearning to have a normal family, one that wasnt brainwashed into following the every whim of a madman.

I reached the door to my room. Quietly turning the knob as to not wake Anna. Once my eyes adjusted to the darkness I realized that she was not beneath the covers. Noting the light from the attached water closet I knocked softly. There was no answer. I knocked a bit louder. Still nothing. Panic began to squeeze the air from my lungs and I gripped the knob in my hand and set my shoulder roughly against the locked door. There was a crack and the oak splintered easily. I flung open the door, myvheartvsunk to my feet as I saw her still form beneath the water.

Grabbing her I yanked her from the now tepid water. "Anna!" I sobbed. Her eyes flew open and she gasped in surprise.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked incredulously, pushing her wet hair from her face.

"I knocked but you didnt answer. I thought something was wrong, that you were hurt." I mumbled holding her against my chest, mindless to the growing puddle on the floor and the dampness spreading on my suit.

Her eyes softened just a bit, but she nonetheless struggled out of my grip. "I'm okay Gunter." She sighed unconvincingly.

I took her hand, forcing her to meet my eyes. "Anna, neither one of us is okay."

She came to me then, allowing me to wrap her in my arms. "I feel so helpless. What good are we doing here?" She murmured.

"I know it seems tedious, but we are gathering information. Troop movements..."

"I'm eating and drinking and laughing with murderers." She hissed. "I have to simper, smile and flirt with the same bastards who kill children. My parents even. I dont even know what's become of them." He voice broke.

I held her a little tighter. "We can try and find them. I cant make any promises, but I'll make inquiries."

She looked up at me, her eyes shining with tears, "I dont even know if I want to know." She said sadly.