16 | STOP CALLING ME AN ANGEL WHEN YOU KNOW I'M JUST A DEVIL
how the hell is john supposed to apologize for something like this?
he sprints down the hallway, trying to catch up to jaren. tears spring from his eyes as he feels himself sinking slowly. jaren is his anchor; the one who keeps him grounded yet doesn't let him drown in his own thoughts and actions.
it's a beautiful sight, really. a boy running for his lover while he's letting himself fall deeper down into a hole of despair. how can he save this relationship when he can't even save himself?
the cream colored walls of the school trap him in and push him further into his own head. he wants the thoughts to stop; he wants everything around him to slow down so he can catch up to the only person that makes him feel sane at this point.
once john is able to calm down his heart rate and persuasive thoughts, he realizes that he is already outside of the school gates. jaren must have run fast, because there is no one else around. the only sound john hears is the soft chirping of the blue birds around him. the wind rustles his hair as he falls on the ground, sitting against the brick wall.
"john? can we talk?" evan asks, walking up and taking a seat next to john. brian also plops down next to the boy with a small and guilty smile.
"did you actually cheat on jaren?" brian whispers, hugging his knees close to his chest. he shudders as the wind hits his back and runs up his spine.
"i don't know what got into me. i didn't want to kiss her but she was already on me and the player inside of me came out," john croaks, standing up and leaning against the school wall.
"i know you didn't mean it. i really am sorry about brock though," brian says, looking up at the standing boy, "i've never seen him so inconsiderate before."
"you should probably go find jaren," jon interrupts, walking outside with his car keys. he swing them around his finger, tossing them to john, "if you break my car while yours is in the shop then i will actually throw you off a cliff."
"point taken," john laughs, running to the blue honda. he waves to all his friends, turning on the engine of the car and driving out of the parking lot.
it was time to get his flower boy back.
🎈
john arrives back to his house to see jaren dragging a suitcase outside. he quickly switches off the car, looking at himself in the mirrors. he looks like a mess; his eyes are bloodshot and his hands are shaking like crazy. he needs to calm down if he even thinks he has a chance to get jaren back.
he jumps out of the car, immediately alerting jaren. the boy looks up, quickly pulling his suitcase as hard as he can and running to his car. john beats him to the car, blocking the driver's seat with his hand.
"jaren can we please just talk this out?" john asks, running his hand through his hair. he sighs, watching jaren turn away with anger piercing his eyes.
"what's there to talk about john? you cheated on me with another girl, i don't think there's any reason for me to stay with you," jaren huffs, trying to push john away. john stands his guard and keeps the door blocked.
"jaren, i need to explain myself-" john says, getting cut off by jaren slapping him across the face.
"that's for cheating on me. i never said we were breaking up though," jaren smiles, pushing his suitcase into the passenger seat, "i just don't think we should live together though."
what is john doing to this boy? how can jaren be so willing to stay with him when he only hurts and breaks him? john looks at the boy, trying to keep the tears down as he walks over.
"you shouldn't live here and we also should break up," john whispers, letting the tears finally pour out. they hit the ground rapidly and john feels as if he is just swimming in them.
"what the hell are you talking about?" jaren asks, moving his hand to john's face.
"jaren, you deserve so much better than someone like me. i want you to be happy and i know you can't have that when i'm around. it's insane to think that you would even consider staying with me after something like this," john spits out, pulling away from jaren's grasp, "you keep saying i'm the only one you have when we both know that i can't stay forever."
both boys go quiet. tears stream down jaren's eyes as the cherry blossoms around them flutter and fall to the ground. in john, the angel and devil clash, and there's no way around it. both of them need to just stop fighting the inevitable.
"please stay john; i'll do anything. just say the word and i'll be there," jaren mumbles, tears choking up his throat and making his vocal cords stop working in his mouth. his whole stomach twists and churns while his legs wobble and shake.
"i love someone else!" john screams, shouting at the top of his lungs. he does the only thing he's ever been good at: lying. it's the only way that he can protect his heart while keeping jaren happy. yet, the shocked look on jaren's face makes him feel like shit, "goodbye jaren."
john walks away, ignoring the loud sobs of the boy he left behind. he ignores his feelings and pain because he's a player. players don't fall in love and don't get hurt like that.
he gets in the car, pulling out his phone and bringing up evan's contact info. tears stream down his face, soft sobs racking his body. he can't let anyone see him like this; they'll actually know the truth.
john > evan
i won the bet, evan
you better pay up
read: 2:25 p.m.
he swallows down the two pills, causing him to feel numb. he's hurt but now he can't feel it. he knows that he made the right choice. he saved jaren from having to deal with his demons.
john's a liar, a player, and a cheater.
and that's all he'll ever be.
🎈
PART ONE
F I N
literally i had 600 reads two days ago and now i'm at 800?? who are you people and why are you trying to kill me?
song: no right to love you by rhys lewis
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SCARED ➼ krii7y
Fanfiction"YOU AND I WERE MADE OF GLASS, WE WERE NEVER GOING TO LAST" both of them held onto each other for as long as they could. they knew this relationship was going to fail in the end but, for now, the only thing they could do was hope that the other woul...
