A Dreamers Dream

Secrets out. Hershey, Pennsylvania, USA.

Sammy's perspective.

What the actual fuck? Pushing the door closed as quietly as I can in an attempt not to draw attention to myself, I step back into the bathroom a little dazed and very confused and try to resist the temptation to kick something, hard.

Seriously? After everything that Maddie and I have been through since she first joined the tour, THIS is how she treats me? By hiding something so fucking momentous from me for god knows how long? The way she was looking at him, this isn't just some sex thing, he means something to her, and she to him. He was holding her like he never wanted to let her go, and she was looking at him like her whole world begins and ends with him. Why would she keep something so important from me?

When did it even start? I wonder, beginning to pace up and down in front of the cubicles in frustration. Recently? No, not recently, Harry mentioned Australia.. so I guess it's got to have been going on since then? That at least explains his behaviour that night in Brazil, I thought he was just being overly friendly after a few too many beers, and then, when Maddie went missing, and he went off and gave Novak what for and then insisted on coming with me to look for her, I figured he was just being a good guy, wanting to make sure that she was ok because he knew what that cocksucker had done to her in London. I told myself that he'd do the same if it had been me or any of the other girls on the team that had suddenly gone missing in the middle of the night alone in a strange country regardless of the situation, but clearly not.

Why the hell wouldn't she tell me? I'd have been over the fucking moon for them! I've been by her side through EVERYTHING! Through both the incidents with Novak... fuck after the last one she sent Harry away! It was me that sat up all night with her, cleaning up her wounds and holding her whilst she cried. Then after Freddie... We spent days, literal days locked up together in our hotel rooms whilst I poured my broken heart out to her, told her things I had barely been able to admit to myself, let alone been able to say out loud, but she couldn't be bothered to tell me that she's shagging the fucking boss? What the fuck Maddie!

This really is the perfect fucking end to a shitty fucking couple of weeks. First, the man I love confesses he's cheated on me, then he packs up and leaves the tour, no doubt running off to his ex, without so much as a bloody text message to say goodbye, and now I find out that my best friend has been keeping something from me for weeks. Is it me? Does everyone just not care enough about me to bother to be honest and upfront with me? Or am I just a complete twat, trusting people who don't deserve it?

Fuck this. I think to myself as I turn to look in the row of mirrors above the sink. I'm not gonna be made a fool out of any more. I take a second to adjust my ponytail and wash my sweaty hands before I turn and head out of the bathroom in search of my so-called best friend.

"There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you!" Maddie says with a smile when I finally catch up with her in the makeshift cafeteria that's been set up in one of the many outbuildings behind the main stage.

"Really? Funny that. Last time I saw you I don't think you'd have been able to pick me out of a lineup." I say callously, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Erm, huh? What are you talking about?" She asks me and actually has the audacity to look confused.

"Don't play dumb with me Mads. I fucking saw you, ok? I saw you with him!" I stage-whisper, purposefully not saying his name. I know I need to keep my voice down, a few heads have already turned in our direction, but I can't seem to find the energy to give a shit right now. I watch as her face falls, all the colour draining out of it until she looks like she's just seen a ghost.

"I... I was going to tell you so many times!... I ... Can we maybe go somewhere else to talk about this?" She asks suddenly, her eyes darting around us, taking in the rest of the crew who are now openly listening in to our conversation.