A Dreamers Dream

Cause we don't say what we really mean. Toronto, Canada.

Harry's perspective.

"There's my girl," I say with a sigh of relief when I open the door, and my eyes fall on Maddie. Still trying to rub the sleep from my eyes I dozily take her in, she looks tired, there are bags under her beautiful blue eyes, and her shoulders are slumped.

"Hey, can I come in? I need to talk to you." She says, her voice barely coming out as more than a whisper and I realise that I am still just standing in the doorway, blocking her entrance and staring at her like a creep.

"Of course you can, sorry," I say quickly and take a step back to let her pass. Every inch of me wants to reach out and pull her into my arms, apologise for all the stupid fucking things I said yesterday and kiss away the pained look in her eyes. But as she shrinks by me, careful not to brush up against any part of me, I think better of it and keep my hands to myself.

When I got back from the arena last night I went straight to the check-in desk and arranged for her to have the best room that the hotel had available for the night, then came up to my suite and carefully packed up her suitcase, reassuring myself as I did it that it wasn't forever, it was just for one night. We've spent plenty of other nights in separate rooms since we got together, this didn't have to be a big deal unless I made it into one. I took my time folding up her clothes, collecting her toothbrush and toiletries from the bathroom and positioning them inside her case, at the last moment I decided to slip in a line from one of my favourite Bukowski poems into a pair of her socks, I'm not even quite sure why I just needed to make sure that she had a small part of me with her I think.

I could have asked anyone of ten people to take her bag down to her room for her, but I couldn't bring myself to do it, didn't want to face any questions it might bring. So I hopped into the lift, hoping I wouldn't run into anyone on the way, and placed it outside the door to her suite. I debated waiting there for her to see if I could get her to talk to me. But she asked me for space, for just one night, and I had to respect that so I headed back up to my room.

I slept awfully in my huge bed all alone, tossing and turning until god knows what time in the morning. Constantly checking my phone over and over just in case she'd tried to call or text, before getting stuck in a YouTube hole for nearly an hour, watching and rewatching the various different videos that some of my fans had already uploaded of Maddie's performance. The more I watched, the more agitated I became though, the more my stomach tied itself into knots and the more anxious I got.

Don't get me wrong, her performance was wonderful, she hit every note perfectly, she wasn't flat or out of tune at any point, but... Argh, I feel like a complete arsehole for even thinking it, but I don't understand what it was that this Dean guy saw in that short performance that made him rush back to her dressing room afterwards and offer her a deal. I don't pretend to be an expert on the music business, but I know what kind of songs are topping the charts right now. I know the kinds of artists that are being pushed forward and propelled into the spotlight, and I just can't see where Maddie fits in that equation with her rocky/acoustic vibe, I knew myself that putting out a rock record as my first solo album was a huge risk, commercial radio stations don't play rock music, teenagers don't rush out to buy rock albums. I was lucky, I was in a position where I could take that risk, and I came to terms with the fact that there was a good chance that not everyone was going to like it, but I decided to be true to myself and let the dice fall where they may.

Maddie doesn't have that kind of security. If she puts out a record that doesn't sell, that'll be it, the music industry doesn't offer second chances to new signings, this Dean guy will cut her off and pretend he's never heard of her as quickly as he's offering to sign her if she isn't good for business. There are thousands of people out there with great voices, but a great voice alone isn't enough.