A Dreamers Dream

Hope You're wearing your best clothes. The Forum, LA, USA.

Maddie's POV

OK time for step four. I think to myself as Sammy drags me by the hand towards our seats. I try and keep my head down and not notice the eyes flashing towards me as the other members of the crew see me sneaking in behind Sammy and Clark, I try not to register their stage-whispered gossiping or their looks of shock at my sudden appearance. It's none of their business, I remind myself sternly. This is the last night of the tour anyways, after tonight, none of them will have anything to do with Harry, nothing to do with me.

"This is us!" Clark shouts over the applause which signals the end of Kacey's set, a little pang of sadness flows through me when I think back to the conversation I partially overheard between her and Harry and a voice at the back of my head pipes up to remind me that this is probably a bad idea. What am I doing here? I wonder for about the hundredth time since Sammy and Clark showed up at my hotel room a few hours ago. I should be laying on my bed, stuffing copious amounts of Chinese food and ice cream down my throat and trying desperately to forget that Harry is even in the same state as me.

But despite all that, despite the little voice in the back of my head screaming herself hoarse, I keep moving forward and take my seat between my friends. I'm here now. I might as well try and at least enjoy the show.

As the mechanical screen at the front of the stage starts to rise, it feels as though time slows down, every second turns into a minute, every minute to an hour. From my position crammed in amongst the rest of the crew behind B stage, I crane my neck slightly just in time for Harry's Gucci clad feet to become visible followed by the cuffs of his black trousers with just a hint of glittery gold peeking out on the sides. Calves, knees, thighs.. god his thighs, a sudden flash of my face buried in his lap, my hands resting on the taut muscles of his upper legs as he clenches in pleasure springs into my mind and I forget where I am for a moment... FOCUS Maddie, I scold myself and drag my eyes up higher and higher to take in the black and gold matador style jacket which hangs loosely around his slim frame and exposes a half-buttoned sheer white shirt, dammit, he's trying to kill me, I think to myself as his beautiful tattoos become visible. I take a moment, several moments in fact, once the screen has fully risen to prepare myself before I finally look up into his face. He is looking resolutely straight ahead, not scanning the crowd, certainly not glancing over in the direction of the crew, if anything he's looking everywhere but where I am situated.

Maybe he doesn't expect me to turn up? No, surely someone as self-confident as Harry, someone who knows full well that he could ask any one of the thirty-thousand-plus people in this room to go back to his hotel room with him and that ninety-nine per cent of them, male or female, young or old, would jump at the chance. He must be expecting me to be here. Maybe he's changed his mind? I think, and a sinking feeling erupts in the pit of my stomach. Maybe he's regretting the question he asked me yesterday, maybe, after seeing me again he's realised that actually, he's better off without me?

I thin line of sweat trickles down my spine, and I have a sudden realisation. Fuck. I shouldn't be here.

"I think I should go." I shout over the chorus of 'Only Angel' into Sammy's ear. My stomach is churning like crazy, and I can actually feel the colour draining from my face.

"What? Don't be daft we just got here!" She screams back, a horrified look on her face as she abruptly stops bouncing up and down in time to the track at my words.

"I think that step four was one step too far!" I cry back, just in time for the song to start transitioning so of course, my voice is amplified in the sudden quiet around us. Great. Several members of the crew crane their necks in my direction, not even attempting to hide the fact that they are nosily trying to overhear our conversation and I make a point of leaning right into Sammy's ear before speaking again. "Everyone's staring," I say quietly and watch in horror as her head snaps around at lightning speed.