saccharine • wong hendery ✔️

four

8:43 AM

I woke up to the sound of my alarm snoozing. I don't remember getting too much rest last night because everything I've been thinking about is Way V's debut.
I had so much questions to ask, if only Ten was around..

I came downstairs to the smell of eggs and earl grey tea.
"Morning mom, what's for breakfast?", I asked in my raspy morning voice.
"Good morning, Amie. We got omelettes, pancakes and some tea."
"Yum."

As we ate breakfast I decided to tell my mom about the video I saw last night.
"Hey, mom.. I didn't really get too much sleep tonight- Way V released their teasers. And I'm not okay."

"Way V?"

"Yeah. NCT's new unit."
"And why are you so into it, Amie? Is Ten a part of it?"
"Well yeah, but- it's not just about Ten, mom!"
"Right...", my mom teased.
"No really!! I saw my other friends debut with him too! You remember Lucas?"

"Ummm, can't quite recall. That was years ago, dear."

Nahhh, no way Mom is forgetting Lucas.

"No, mom. LUCAS. You know him! Xuxi!!"
Her eyes widened as she finally knows who I'm talking about!

"That LOUD and DESTRUCTIVE kid who shouts all the time?!"

"Mom! He isn't disrespectful. He really is naturally loud. That's what makes Xuxi, Xuxi. And when he broke your vase; it was an accident! We were just having fun!", I explained.

"I remember him.. What a mischievous boy he is.", she said with a scowl on her face.

"Come on, Mom. Just let it go. He's a grown man now. Here, look.", I giggled as I show a picture of present Lucas.

"My, my. You're right. He's grown to be a handsome young man!"

"Although he's still as loud as 5 years ago."

That's our Xuxi.

------------------------------------------------

10:02 AM

As soon as I got to work I could already smell the coffee from inside as I was greeted by the waiters.
"Good morning, Eun Jeung-ssi!!", they greeted.
"Morning!"

"Morning, Amie.", Doyoon was there behind the cashier, organizing the bottom shelf.
"Hello, Doyoon."
"Looks like you didn't get sleep last night, either?", he asked.
Wow, how more observant can this boy get?

"You're right.."
"Is it.. Him, again?"
"Well, it isn't just him."

Doyoon raised an eyebrow as he slowly looked up at me.
"There's more?", he teased.
"No! Doyoon, I'm not like that."
"Then what??", he chuckled.

"It's his group! NCT has a new sub unit, and he's in it.. But it's not just him. My old friends are there too. Plus, SM added three new rookies. Even I don't know them! They must be really recent."

"I see. Isn't it Way V?"
"Yes, how'd you know?"
"I heard rumors about them debuting anytime soon. I see that they finally did."
"Yeah, they must be doing a lot of promotions."

-------------------------------------------

9:46 PM

The day's almost over. The shop has finally bid goodbye to the last costumer of the day. And I was there on the table again, checking in with all that paper work.

"Ugh, that was a mean costumer! I was just trying to help! How can people be so rude when I just wanted to offer them some help!", I heard angry whining and stomping from behind me.

"Yeseul?  What's up?"
"There was this one guy who just acted so rude. I was just guiding him to where the sugar and creamers were. Ugh.", she said, with a pouty face.
"Now, now. It's normal to encounter customers who are just plain assholes- sorry for the word. Forget about him, Yeseul. Don't make people like him ruin your vibe."
"I guess you're right. I'll try and forge- mmph!"

I cut her off by shoving a chocolate donut in her mouth to calm her down.
"Thank you", she answered, with a muffled voice from the donut.

------------------------------------------

We walked home again and instead of Yeseul ranting, she was preoccupied with the chocolate donuts I gave her.
"Those must be delicious, huh Yeseul?", Doyoon said, in a slightly annoyed tone.
"They are, though! Here let me feed you one."

"Oh my god. Okay, I take it back. These are good.".

"You're both a bunch of dorks, you know?"

--------------------------------------------

When I got home I opened the lights.
Right now, I'm just tired.
I'm pretty numb.
I've been thinking too much now. I think even my mind is burned out.

"Mom? Are you there? I'm home!", I shouted.
"Yes, dear! I'm in the shower right now! How was work?"
"It was.. Okay."

"Do you want milkshakes? They're in the fridge!"
"I'm good, mom. I'm going to bed."
"Uh, o-okay, sweetie. Sleep well, okay? I love you!"
"Yeah, love you too."

I went in my room and I didn't even bother taking my shoes off anymore. Today felt like years have gone by already. I just wanted to lie down. Be at peace. Just clear my mind for once. Take him off the picture, even for a minute.
I'm too... Tired. Of everything at this point.
What's my purpose here?
Ugh...

- and Amie slowly falls asleep -

-----------------------------------------------

8:16 AM

Ugh, what year is it?
I wonder as I slowly drift away from my drowsiness. Saturday. Finally. No work, no getting ready early.. I'm free. At least for a while.
God, I feel awful. I don't know why but it feels like what I felt five years ago..
Helpless.

I unlocked my phone.
"What? I got an email?"
I said in my sore morning voice as I opened it and read the title.

And that's when the start of a change happened.

From: @ chittaphons.ten1996
Addressed to: @ amieg.kim

Hey! It's Ten! I hope you still remember me! Amie, right? I know it's been a while and you probably don't know me but I definitely remember you from training! We're doing promotions; since I am part of a new group that debuted recently. I am still in SM Entertainment, and we're hosting a party celebrating our  successful debut! They said to invite anyone close to us, and I thought of you. Our CEO-nim never forgot you too! He even encouraged me to contact you so here I am. We miss you here, Amie. You'll always be a part of SMTOWN. It'll mean a lot if you could come, if you're still living in Seoul of course. How come you don't talk to me anymore? Haha, if you ever see this message, please reply as soon as you can so I can be informed!
Your friend, Ten ^_^

"ITS FROM-"

-------------------------------------------