Chaos in My Soul: A Taekook Story

Chapter Twenty-Two: Doubts

*I'm back! This chapter is bittersweet for me, and honestly I have only one or two more chapters for this story and then it is done. I hope you guys enjoy it for now!*

...

After the battle, Jungkook passed out. He's mentally and physically exhausted; this day has taken him to several distant realms, tickled his darkest emotions, and forced him to access powers he never knew existed. Hoseok carries Jungkook and Taehyung to a guest room where a Healing Fae can check up on them while also leaving a barely conscious Namjoon with his ex-lover. Those two have a lot of baggage to go over, and that is definitely not something Hoseok needs to be a part of. For now, he will continue to protect Jungkook and Taehyung as they recover.

Jin sits on the cold marble floor of the palace, only a few feet away from Namjoon and yet it feels like they are thousands of miles apart. Namjoon leans against the wall, his arms resting on his raised knees as he stares at Jin. Time hasn't treated him well. He has dark circles under his eyes, his once tan and sunburnt skin is now pale, and his golden tresses have faded to a weak blond. His once broad, muscular body has softened as if he's been sickly recently.

"It's been a long time...hasn't it, Namjoon...?" Jin mumbles after the silence becomes unbearable. Namjoon flinches at his smooth voice, remembering the last time he heard it was when he broke Jin's heart.

"A couple centuries..."

"Twenty. It's been two thousand years give or take..." Jin exclaims, trying not to show betrayal in his tone. He knows the creature that tormented his realm was not Namjoon. It wasn't his fault that Chaos chose him as a host.

"Wow...it doesn't feel that long..."

"You were being manipulated by Chaos. Of course it doesn't feel like time passed for you," Jin snips, and Namjoon notices the pain in his voice. His eyes. The torture and defeat that pleased Chaos breaks Namjoon's heart, his body aching with despair when he sees what he caused.

"I'm...I'm so sorry..."

"Sorry isn't going to fix this," Jin murmurs, wrapping his arms around his body for support. His heart is beating loudly in his chest, the constriction of his ribcage making it feel like its too hard to breathe. He should be fine. He should be able to take in a breath, and yet a sob escapes his lips. It has been so long since he's seen Namjoon. His blond hair has become black, his once sweet eyes filled with remorse, and his clothes cling to his lean body as if he too has suffered. They both have.

"You know...the thing about not feeling time pass...means everything feels the same," Namjoon whispers, his deep voice wrapping around Jin like a blanket and he clings to every word, "I remember our love...the time we spent together...the day you became crowned king—"

"I told you I didn't want it," Jin hisses as his eyes fill with bitter tears. He really didn't want to be king. He would've much rather stayed by Namjoon's side as he ruled over the Fae, "I didn't—"

"That's not what hurt the most. I knew once the crown became yours there was nothing I could do...what hurt was watching everyone turn against me. My brothers...the Fates..."

"I never doubted you though..." Jin explains with a deep frown on his face, "You could have stayed with me. I would've chosen you if you gave me the choice, but you left...and then when Chaos got you, he broke my heart...because I lost you..." Jin stops talking before he says something even more embarrassing than he already has. How can he explain the pain of watching Chaos destroy everything he loved? Of trying to counteract the destruction of the man he used to love. That he still loves, and probably always has loved. A worn, calloused, hand reaches out and touches Jin's cheek, the fingers stroking his skin softly as Jin looks up in surprise. Namjoon has moved closer, wanting desperately to comfort his upset lover.