golden > reddie oneshots

heart made of glass (my mind of stone)

by: reddieforlove
on
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♥ reddie
♥ 18,105 words
♥ angst and smut

♡
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　     *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

To Eddie Kaspbrak, hopelessness was nothing new. There was a point at which one started to embrace it. He thought that he finally stopped being surprised over how deep it could drag him down and how utterly devastating it could really be. Nine words spoken in a filthy office reinforced it all and convinced him even more that he would never get the chance to dig himself out of the hole he was in.

"Sorry kid, you know I gotta let you go."

Eddie didn't really imagine that he was long for the job anyway. There was very little security in being a stripper, especially in places like he worked up until an hour ago, where everything happened at the whims of the customer. One disagreement with a sweaty jackass and his money-focused, mildly sympathetic boss put Eddie out on his ass with a pile of clothes bills, a shitty apartment, incredibly overdue rent, and an aching body from hours of work that he probably wouldn't even be paid for.

By the time he managed to drag himself off of the city bus and into his apartment building, he could barely muster the energy to even ride the elevator, pulling his sparse key ring out of his pocket as he stumbled out into the hall with exhaustion, both physical and emotional, settled deep into his bones. As soon as he unlocked and opened the door to his tiny home, his hand reached out to flip on the light of the living room. But nothing happened. Eddie let out a heavy sigh, knocking his head against the doorway.

His electricity bill might not be due for a couple of weeks but that didn't mean that he could afford light bulbs when they burned out. He stepped further into his apartment, shedding his jacket and kicking away his worn sneakers. He felt like a film of grime covered him from head to toe, mostly from his former job, and all that he wanted to do was take a shower. The odds were not in his favor that it would be anywhere close to warm but Eddie was willing to take the risk.

As soon as he was clean, if not incredibly freezing after the shower, he didn't even bother to search his kitchen for something to eat, dropping into his bed and pulling his threadbare covers up to his chin as he shivered. It was only then that the tears came, burning at his eyes and dripping down his cheeks, tracing hot paths over his chilled skin. His hitching breaths filled the air as he let himself feel it all. Every bit of hopelessness and anger and sadness. It was unfair. Eddie didn't ask for any of this.

He didn't ask to be raised by an overbearing mother who kept him locked away most of the time, fearing the world and his own body so much that he had no idea how to cope without her. He certainly didn't ask for her to die suddenly in his junior year, leaving him in the care of the state since none of his aunts were willing to take in a sixteen-year-old boy. He certainly didn't ask to be spit out by the system at eighteen, left floundering with no money and no way of supporting himself until he stumbled his way into a strip club that gleefully employed him.

He didn't ask for any of it.

And yet it was his life.

So Eddie let himself cry until his tears dried up and his body sank into exhaustion. He had to take initiative the next day before he started getting envelopes with notices stamped in red ink. But it turned out that it was all easier said than done. He woke up the next morning with a blinding headache and very little energy after tossing and turning all night. But he forced himself to drink a cup of coffee, ate some almost stale crackers, and set out to figure out how to get a job.