Where I Found You

Chapter 1 - Will.

AUTHOR NOTE:

So if you didn't know already, despite all the times it says it, this is the sequel to my most popular story, How I See You. If you haven't read that, I would recommend reading it before this but it isn't essential! It's up to you :)

This is going to be a step up from the previous book. There's going to be a bit more of everything - emotion, drama, mature content (but not overwhelming), detail, and generally also better quality of writing. I've improved my work. I think this is going to be even better than How I See You, to be quite honest.

So I hope you all like it! (:

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Chapter 1 - Will.

I think it's weird how our whole family moved to Oxford, and Leila is at university there, and now I'm heading off to Cambridge. The two universities are practically enemies. Leila thought I was being spiteful by choosing Cambridge but it's just the way things turned out. The course I want to do, sports physiology, is better there.

Mum hates the way I've turned out. She even told me one night that Alyssa is the best thing that ever came into my life and I don't stand a chance anymore. She ended up shouting at me, saying I ruined everything and that when Alyssa finds out, it is going to be the end of the road for me.

She ended up crying. She said that Alyssa didn't deserve it and she was the sweetest thing ever and I agreed. I totally agreed, and now I've messed up my whole life.

My mum can't bare to look at me anymore, I left Tai and Lewis and Niall and Evan and all my friends, and soon Alyssa is going to wish she never even met me.

Insomnia was always a problem of mine, one that I was too lazy to try and get rid of. As a kid, about three years old or something, mum says I would be awake screaming in the night because I could never sleep. When I was about seven I remember lying awake, frustrated that I couldn't sleep. There was always something on my mind, and after a while I would go and annoy Leila who would be fast asleep when it reached two in the morning. Then my dad would shout at me for it. Because they never understood.

When I was thirteen, and the problem still continued, I started to teach myself to play the guitar. I was embarassed by it for some reason, so I never told anyone. But I got the idea after seeing my grandfather's old guitar in the attic. I used that until I got enough money to buy one myself.

I came to hate people who had the ability to sleep at night and I couldn't. So basically, part of me hated everyone in the world and it was do stupid. It was in the dark hours that the hatred would come and I felt like everything bad in the world was thrown onto me.

When everything started with Alyssa, I found it easier to sleep. It was like my life was so incomplete and wrong before I did, that I had to stay awake at night to make up for all the crap I did. It was like a punishment. But when Alyssa made me happier, she also made me a better person. Because of her the things I did weren't wrong and I wasn't always a rule breaker. That made me feel better about myself. It made me calmer and the insomnia became a thing of the past - for a few months, that is.

And when something is taken away, like Alyssa was, the effects from before you got that thing become even worse. Now I'm doing worse things than I did before I was with Alyssa. At least before I didn't hurt people I loved. At least before I didn't betray anyone.

It's like right now. The insomnia is back and it's worse than ever because I know I could have her - i could have stayed in Kingston - but then again it wouldn't have happened anyway. I don't even know how the fuck to describe it. It's making me do bad things that I want to stop but I can't. I'm hurting her secretly. It's like I'm numbing her pain but behind the numbness the damage is so terrible that numbing it can't last forever and when I can't numb it anymore, it's going to hurt her for such a long, long time. I'm covering it all up over the phone and on Skype when I talk to her, because she isn't here, and I am applying the damage behind her back. And when she finds out, it'll be the worst sort of agony she ever imagined.