Chapter Forty

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After that, the hospital became a blur of activity, until there was no one but us remaining in the waiting room. There was nothing but chairs and time, and neither provided solace. There wasn't anything that we could do. So far, there was nothing that the doctors could do, either, without knowing what was going on. I had no way of knowing how to explain that. Even if I tried, nothing I told them would help to fix my mother.

After hours of waiting, the doctors came out and said that they had to sedate my mother again, and it would be another few hours before they could attempt to converse with her again. They said something about trying to blitz her, which basically meant that they wanted to medicate her into a really long sleep and hoped that pushed the crazy out. Exhaustion makes us become another person.

Right.

My father nodded and said it was time to go, leaving her in the doctors' care.

We made it home Saturday morning without my mother. My father was just grabbing a change of clothes and a much-needed shower before going back to the hospital. My mother was unconscious, still sedated, and no matter how many times I was asked what happened, my answer remained the same: I don't know.

Sitting on the couch, I held my hands in my lap and looked around, not really seeing, but too afraid to close my eyes.

"I'll be back in time to authorize the party with the Hall's Manager, okay?" My dad came down the stairs, pulling me from my thoughts. "Can you be ready by five?" He set his bag down, his skin still glistening with beads of water from his shower.

I coughed at the end of a snort, almost choking. "That's like, a joke, right? You don't expect me to do it?" I looked up from my lap where my hands were clasped, void of nails even though I had never been a biter, and I rolled my eyes. "You want me to have a party while mom's in the hospital?"

"I do, actually." He nodded. "And, so would your mother."

"That's not true."

He shrugged. "Okay, so your mother wouldn't, but I do, and until—" he looked at his watch and then back to me "—10:47, you have to do as I say."

"Dad—"

"Just go to the party, Aly," he said, sighing, and pulled his hand down his face. He looked up with tired eyes and added, "I did a lot to make this happen and it's all paid for. You don't need to be at the hospital while she's not aware you are there."

I nodded, but still didn't feel right about it. My mother was in the hospital and I was off to enjoy a party? Right. Daughter of the Year over here. But, on the other hand, he was here, asking me to do something for him. After being the reason that my mother was in the hospital, how could I refuse?

"Fine." I sighed and stood, heading to the stairs. "I'll see you at five."

My dad nodded and picked up his bag, carrying it over to the front door before slinging it over his shoulder. He rested his hand on the knob and looked up. "Aly?"

I paused halfway up the stairs, holding my breath. Had he figured out whose fault this was? "What?"

He laughed. "Set your alarm."

I was glad someone could still laugh. Muttering under my breath too low for him to hear, I slumped into my room as the front door slammed and fell onto my bed face-down with my arms spread wide at my sides. My alarm clock remained untouched, still broken, and I rolled onto my back, numb.

*****

For the first hour, I rested on my back, staring at the ceiling fan as I counted rotations. But then the sun shifted, and each circle the fan completed sent shadows dancing across the walls. So, I sat up, hugging my knees to my chest, and stared at my lamp. I couldn't sleep after everything that had happened, even with every light in the house on. It was daytime, but dark corners still provided room for shadows to dwell. Scared and alone, with only Scruffy at my side, I couldn't take any chances—even blinking became hard to endure.

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