Just For The Summer: Lietpol

IV

It stung when Felix put the cotton dampened with hydrogen peroxide on my wound, the burning deep, my eye watering from the pain that was right above it. I kept my gaze upwards though, to Felix, how he was so focused on patching me up; he had his tongue sticking out a little in his concentration, his eyebrows furrowed together, not breaking eye contact from what he was doing. Well, didn't break eye contact until he quickly glanced down at me to see that I was looking at him. He did sorta like a double take, saw me looking at him in the first millisecond glance but didn't register it until another millisecond later, when he looked back down to me with a joyous dorky smile on his face,

"Whatcha lookin at??" He asked with a soft chuckle. My eyes stayed fixed on his, but his seemed to venture my face as his smile just grew; I felt my smile growing too.

"So, after this- earlier at the store you said you didn't want to discuss it since we were in public- but, what about now?" His joyous smile turned mischievous, and he went back to his unwavering attention to my eyebrow where it split. I would vary much like to talk about what happened, well, perhaps I'd get a little flustered while talking about it- ok, a lot flustered- but I would like to know Felix's thought process and how similar it is to mine.

"Although as much as I'd love to discuss it, like, trust me, I definitely would. I also recall me saying that you would read me some more Shakespeare when we got home, not us talking about- well, yaknow" he looked down at me and gave just a soft wink before going to throw away the bloody towels he was using. Did that count as flirting? "Annnyyyywwwaaayyyyy- if we did talk about something that happened earlier today, the kiss wouldn't be first on my list of topics, Ivan and his little gang is." My heart stoped for a quick moment when I heard his hushed voice practically ask me to talk about what happened earlier. This is something I don't even tell my parents, not to the full extent anyways; but Felix is different, I should be able to tell him..

"Yeah? I mean, sure." I drop my eyes from him, looking down at my hands, playing with my nails in fidget.

"Toris. Dear.. I know you might not want to talk about it, and I don't want you to feel forced, but-" Felix's voice was so soft, sweet. He kneeled down in front of me and took his own bruised hand into mine as he looked at up to me. I cant keep my ears from going hot red, him calling me dear seemed so warm in my heart. "-but- like... have you ever told anyone about whats going on? Maybe it'll help you feel better to tell someone? And I'm here, all ears"

"Maybe we can go somewhere else to talk about it?" I didn't feel all to comfortable sprawling my whole story and insecurities in the hallway bathroom. "Perhaps we can talk about it in my room. If we could go to the stable or something- I don't know."

"Your room is fine. The stable is too far away, it's dark out." Felix stood up and I felt his warm, soft lips against my forehead. I couldn't help myself but to lean against the comforting smooch, closing my eyes even as Felix pulls away, "come on Toris" he softly tugged on my hand, and I stood up to walk with him. I guess he didn't need to keep holding my hand as walked down the hall to my room, it helped though, I'm sure he realizes that. When we reached my room, he closed the door and walked over to my bed. I was confused at first, he climbed on the bed on top of the covers and laid down; I only realized what he wanted when he then held his arms up for me. I climb onto the bed beside him, and he instantly clings onto me in a tight and warm hold, the same comfort that the small kiss to my forehead earlier washed over me again.

"When do you want me to start?" I had no idea where to start, how to start, if this is even a good time to start. I just bury my face against his loose golden hair and hope that this anxiety will wash away.

"Now is alright." I felt him tracing small little squiggles on my back, still keeping me close to him, "Maybe you can start with telling me who Ivan is? Or maybe how you and Ivan turned into this awful situation?"

"I guess it started four years ago? I mean, Ivan and I, as well as Eduard and Raivis, we were all friends before. But then Ivan started getting really bossy and controlling and- well- four years ago I told him I couldn't stay if he continued treating us like that. He kept doing it, I left." I'm actually sort of surprised with how kept together I stayed, not even any heat swelling in my face for oncoming tears. "He's never stopped treating Eduard or Raivis like shit, even after I left. He never stoped treating me like shit either, says I 'betrayed them' or whatever.." I couldn't help but to chuckle a bit as now some tears come to my eyes. Now that I'm saying it out loud, Ivan sounds completely ridiculous; and all these years I actually thought I did something wrong for leaving. Felix pulled away a bit, but just so he could see me better. A kind smile was on his lips, reaching up to wipe away the hot tear streaming down my cheek,

"Sounds like a piece of shit," he said with his own soft laugh, "see? Don't you feel better now? I can see it on your face, a weight lifted from your chest!" It seems like he always has my best interest at heart, and yet he can always seem to work on his own goals confidently. He's just so perfect, it almost hurts my heart to look down and see his most precious smile. I'm definitely not as confident as he is, so summoning  up the courage to kiss him was just not in my wheelhouse; but he was so cute, looking up at me like I could own the world if I wanted to even if I'm just a farmer's son. I feel a burden in my chest saying I don't deserve him, but also hearing his voice in my mind telling me that I deserve everything. Taking a soft a deep breath, summoning the most, yet small amount of courage I can muster,

I lean down and press a soft kiss to the corner of his lips.