Imagines • Calum Hood

The One That Got Away

"Are you up? We need to talk" Calum sits up in the bed as soon as he realizes her girlfriend was awake "About?" she lazily asks while rubbing her eyes, thoae words made anyone nervous but she was too sleepy to even care "I think—I know I can't do this" Y/N face was frowned now meanwhile Calum was being showered with a feeling of guilt, not being able to look at his girlfriend "Do what, baby? What are you talking about?" she sits on the bed too, looking at her boyfriend who was avoiding her glare at all costs "Us" he finally said out loud, feeling relieved and guilty, but the truth is he doesn't know what happened and that leads into him feeling frustrated. She was a nice girl, she hasn't done anything wrong to him but still, things weren't feeling great, at least not for Calum. "But what do you mean? What happened between us?" she was fighting so hard to hold her tears meanwhile Calum was rubbing his temples "We can't continue this, us, we can't" and that was it, tears were rolling down her cheeks meanwhile Calum didn't know wether to comfort her or give her space "How did this happen?" her voice cracked.

"I don't know, it just did" he let out a loud sigh, but the truth is Calum didn't know either, everything was being amazing and maybe that's what drove him over the edge, they've been living together for over 6 months now and things at home were everything Calum could dream of, but there was something about love that terrified him. Back when the spark between them was starting, Calum was afraid of commitment, especially with him being away for months thanks to the tour but Y/N proved him wrong, she showed him how love was patient, kind, magic & that's what made Calum stay with her. Months before, the idea of formalizing things by moving in together was running around Calum's mind until he finally asked her to and she happily accepted, both of them picked a place and eventually adopted a little dog named Duke... Everything was too perfect to be true, and that scared the hell out of Calum, after being used to all this happiness, he was afraid their love would go downhill. "Are you sure about it?" she asks him and he slowly nods, ashamed over the fact that she didn't do anything wrong and still, he was breaking up with her.

"I am" he says, but the truth is he's not, deep down he knows he's making the wrong decision but he doesn't want to hurt Y/N in the future by really breaking up their relationship. "I'm... I'm just speechless. Last night we were making love and afterwards laughing with each other and now you just..." she shakes her head, still not believing -or processing- what was going on "I'm sorry, Y/N. I really am, but this has to stop. We could continue as friends if you'd like" even him knew they wouldn't be friends but he was willing to, he didn't wanted her to feel twice worse than she already was feeling, Y/N feels a lump on her throat threatening her with even more crying, she finally gained the courage to ask the question popping on her head "Is there someone else?" His head shakes desperately, there couldn't be anyone else, not with Calum being so madly in love with Y/N.

"There isn't someone else. There's never been" he finally grabs her hands and rubs it with his thumb "then why, Calum? I just don't see any reason—I don't know if I missed something" words were accumulating on his head but anything would come out, at least not the explanation he wanted to give her. There was a lump on his throat, too, and his eyes were getting glossy, he had nothing to say to her and that made him feel even worse. Calum let anxiety take over his life even when he promised himself it wouldn't, he owed it to himself, he deserves to be happy but there he was, cutting the happiness out of his life. "The house is yours to keep, I'll just... Pack my things and leave. Duke..." he loves Duke way too much to even think of leaving him too, but then again, how'd be there for the little creature when he's always on tour? "Duke's yours to keep too, but I'd appreciate if you let me visit him" she scoff listening to his words come out of his mouth "You're leaving" she whispers to herself, now tears were leaving Calum's eyes. "I am. I'm really sorry about everything that I must've done wrong, you deserve the very best" and with that, he stands up, leaving her there speechless but he needed fresh air, his hands were shaky and his chest was feeling pressured, he let anxiety take over his life again "but Calum, you're the best for me, I don't understand this sudden decision" she desperately didn't wanted to end the relationship but she didn't wanted to beg "It's the best for you, look at you, you're amazing" and now anger was taking over Y/N, her breathing became accelerated, is Calum really walking away when things go right? They've had these kinds of conversations before, she understands how anxiety messes with her boyfriend but still "Don't you fucking dare to even think you're not amazing, look at you, living your dream, being talented as fuck, intelligent too. You know better than this, you know you're letting anxiety make the decisions for you" and with that, Calum broke down, crying like a little child, lately he hasn't been himself due to the amount of social anxiety he's been feeling and Y/N gets that, she's always been there for him, but he wasn't gonna let him end their relationship over an anxious thought

"What if we schedule an appointment?" She politely asks in a soothing voice, she's schedule Calum's previous appointments to the psychologist, which have helped him before to feel better. "You know I'm not gonna let you go through this alone nor I'm accepting you leaving until you're fully sure, with a decision that has nothing to do with anxiety" she warns him. If he really wanted to leave after being good again, of course she'd accept that.

"Fuck, yeah" he cleans his running nose, Y/N hands traveled to his face, cleaning up the tears from his face "I'm so sorry I'm such a mess, you don't deserve this" he tries to calm his breath as his girlfriend runs her hand down his back "you don't have the need to cope with my anxiety, yet you do" and that's something Calum doesn't understand, Y/N is a person mentally healthy meanwhile Calum has his breakdowns.

"Because I love you" she replies making Calum's heart melt down, he never thought he'd get that answer and Y/N responded honestly "and I'll stick with you no matter what you go through. That's what couples are supposed to do, you can lean on me as long as you need to"

"Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you, you're too good to be true" Calum didn't wanted her to feel pity for him, he honestly thought that from time to time "you're the best I've ever had and that keeps fucking with my head"

She let out a loud breath "we deserve each other Cal. Stop worrying so much about everything lately, allow yourself to be happy" she smiles at him before pulling him in for a hug "Now, I know you've been craving croissants so how about I'm a good girlfriend so I take you out for breakfast?" he smiles back, realizing how lucky he was "consider this a date"

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Do you guys think I've been doing the imagines way too long or it's alright that way?
Also, I wanted to know if you like it when I write in this format or you like the first one better?
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Remember I'm open for requests!