Living a Lie [Jamilton]

Chapter 1

Trigger warning: Death, gore, suicide mention

"Mon amour, I have something to tell you." Lafayette said. His hands were fidgeting in his lap, the only outward sign of the anxiety and fear that were tearing his mind apart.

"What's wrong, Laff?" Alex asked, placing a comforting hand on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Lafayette took a deep breath. He'd put this off long enough. He couldn't keep this a secret anymore. It was now or never.

"Mon amour, I... I have to go back to France."

Lafayette watched as Alex's face fell when the reality of those words hit him.

"Laff... why? Why are you leaving me?"

There were tears in Alex's eyes. He was shaking.

Lafayette's heart was breaking. He was the reason Alex felt like this. He was the reason-

"Laff, why? You promised you'd stay with me. You promised you wouldn't leave me."

Lafayette pulled his boyfriend into a hug.

"I am not leaving you forever, Mon Amour. I will only be gone for a little bit. You see, my country is in a state of turmoil right now and I want to be with my family to make sure they are safe."

"But how do you know that you'll be safe?"

"I'm a smart man. I'll be fine."

"Laff..."

Lafayette gently kissed his boyfriend, rubbing his slender back and trying to calm his shaking.

"Don't worry, mon amour. I'll come back to you. I promise."

"I'll wait for you, my love. I'll wait for you as long as it takes. I'll wait forever if you need me to."

"You won't have to wait forever, mon amour."

"Promise?"

Lafayette swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Promise."

France was in a state of chaos.

An incredibly radical politician Robespierre and his supporters had started an uprising against the government-or, as they called it, the Old Regime. They were killing people in the streets, dragging people from their homes and accusing them of being "traitors."

Lafayette had watched from the window as an entire family was executed. Even the children.

He'd been in France for a little over three months. These had by far been the worst three months of his life.

Every day might be his last.

Every breath might be his last.

Every word might be his last.

Every night when he closed his eyes to go to sleep, he prayed that he would live until the next morning.

If I die, at least I'll die with my family.

It was a bittersweet affair.

He was reunited with his family after so long, but they lived in fear every second of every.

The young children were the most painful to watch.

They were too young to understand what was happening, too young to read the terror on everyone's faces, too young to understand the screaming in the streets.

They thought it was all a game.

One giant game of Overthrow the Government.

Lafayette made sure to call Alex every night. Telling him that he was alright, that his family was alright, that he would be back soon.