Living a Lie [Jamilton]

Chapter 25

Trigger warning: suicide mention, self-harm, blood mention

At one point it talks about Lafayette watching them from Heaven I don't mean to offend anyone who is religious or believes in Heaven I just thought it would be a nice moment in the story 

Enjoy!!!

It was the loud thud that finally woke Thomas up.

His sleep had been dreamless, as though his mind was so shocked by everything that had happened that it wasn't even capable of producing dreams.

He'd been in the middle of a peaceful dreamless slumber when a loud thud jerked him back to reality.

His eyes shot open. His heart was pounding. He looked around. He was in his bedroom. The curtains were drawn and sunlight was streaming in through the window.

For a moment, Thomas was almost convinced that it had all been a nightmare. His letter to Lafayette. His horrible decision. Alexander saving his life. None of it was real. It had just been a nightmare.

But he knew that it wasn't true.

Nobody feels this broken and empty because of a nightmare.

The thud.

Thomas climbed out of bed, suddenly remembering why he'd woken up in the first place. His legs were weak. He had to grip the side of the bed so he wouldn't fall over.

Thomas shakily walked down the hallway, trying to find whatever it was that had fallen.

At first, everything seemed normal. No large objects lying on the ground, no shattered picture frames or broken appliances or, God forbid, broken electronics.

Maybe it was just the wind slamming a window shut. Maybe a kid playing outside had dropped their basketball.

Then he turned the corner into his office.

Alexander was lying on the floor in front of his desk, unconscious. There was a broken plate and two fried eggs next to him.

Thomas didn't even question the eggs.

All he could think about was Alex.

Alex, the man who saved my life.

Alex, my best friend.

Something had happened to him. Something had happened to him that made him pass out.

Then Thomas saw the letter lying on his desk, the one that he'd written to Lafayette last night.

No.

Thomas's body was shaking. He felt like he was going to throw up. He felt like he, too, was going to pass out. He was going to pass out and he and Alex were going to lay there unconscious with the eggs until someone finally came to rescue them.

No. I can't pass out. I can't leave Alex like this. He saved me, now it's my turn to save him.

Thomas picked Alex up and carried him to his bed. Alex was extremely light. Thomas had always known that Alex was a small person, but before now it had never occurred to him just how small Alex was.

Alex had never struck him as small before. Sure, his body was small, but he'd always had a large presence. The way he spoke. The way he held himself. His personality. Looking at those things alone, Alex could easily have been 6'4".

Thomas lay Alex down on the bed. He covered him in a blanket and stood there, wondering what to do.

What the fuck did they teach us in CPR class?