Living a Lie [Jamilton]

Chapter 15

A/N: I'm so sorry for the late update. I was expecting to get this chapter up yesterday but something happened and let's just say writing became the least of my problems. My update schedule will be fixed soon. Don't worry (^♡^)

Thomas Jefferson woke up next to Alexander Hamilton.

Alex was still asleep. He looked so peaceful, his long dark eyelashes fluttering and a small smile on his lips.

Oh Lord, he's beautiful.

Thomas carefully climbed out of bed, taking great pains to ensure that his movement wouldn't disturb Alex's slumber, and quietly walked into the bathroom.

He washed his face and brushed his teeth. The simple tasks helped to calm his nerves and take his mind off of the mess that his life had turned into.

He looked in the mirror and laughed. His hair was in complete and utter disarray from the odd way he'd slept last night. His hair looked like something had crawled onto his head and died.

James had always loved Thomas' hair. He loved touching it and telling Thomas how "floofy" it was. He also loved putting it into space buns which had first annoyed Thomas to no end, but he soon learned that he looked amazing with space buns and grew to enjoy the whole process.

Oh, James. How did I let you get away?

Thomas walked out of the bathroom to find that Alex had woken up. His hair was a mess and his eyes were puffy from sleep. There was some leftover eyeliner smudged around his eyes, remnants from the make-up he'd forgotten to take off.

He was the most beautiful thing Thomas has ever seen.

Thomas shook his head and sat back down on the side of his bed.

"Good morning, Alex."

"Good morning." Alex said quietly.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Y-Yeah. I did."

Thomas and Alex fell into a comfortable silence.

Alex climbed out of bed and stretched, his t-shirt lifting up slightly as he lifted his arms above his head.

Thomas forced himself to look away.

Deciding that he couldn't take it anymore, Thomas walked out of his bedroom and went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee.

As he poured the fresh coffee into a cup, Alex walked in.

"Hey, Thomas. I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry I barged into your house screaming bloody murder then broke down crying then crawled into your bed like a child."

"It's fine." Thomas laughed sadly
"Trust me."

Alex laughed. "It's so weird hearing you speak without a French accent."

"I can do the French accent again if you want."

"It's okay. I like this one too."

"I'm glad I got to drop the French accent." Thomas said truthfully. "My voice was getting strained from doing it all the time."

"Aww, poor Thomas." Alex said. "I once spoke in a French accent for a week straight and my throat was burning."

"Why did you do a French accent for a week straight?"

"Because I made a bet with John Laurens to see who could do a French accent for longer."

"Why on Earth would you make such a stupid bet?"

"Because Charles Lee hates French accents and we wanted to piss him off."

"Why would someone hate French accents? They are so sexy and European."

"He hates Napoleon and French accents remind him of Napoleon."

"Why would anyone hate Napoleon he was a sassy legend? They tried to banish him and he said "nah bitch I'll be back' and guess what he actually came back. He wasn't just bluffing like 'hahaha yeah I'll be back just you wait' he actually came back like 'surprise, bitch, you thought you'd seen the last of me.'"

Alex laughed. "That's the best description of Napoleon I've ever heard. Though nothing beats my Na Na Napoleon song."

"Na Na Napoleon song?"

"You know that song that goes 'Ra Ra Rasputin lover of the Russian Queen there was a cat who really was gone?' Well one night I got bored and wrote a parody of that about Napoleon."

"Do tell."

"There lived a man in France long ago, he was small and angry in his eyes a flaming glow. Most Austrians looked at him with terror and fear, but to Paris chicks he was such a lovely dear." Alex sang in that fake sing-song-y voice of someone who is too lazy to actually sing but knows that the words they're saying require more than just an ordinary speaking voice. "He could defend France's borders like a warrior, full of ecstasy and fire. But he also was the kind of teacher the Bourgeoisie would desire."

"Oh my God, Alex."

"Na na Napoleon savior of the Bourgeoisie, there was an Old Regime who really was gone. Na na Napoleon France's greatest sass machine. It's such a shame how exile couldn't keep him gone."

Gosh, I fall more in love with this man every time he speaks.

Later that night, after Alex had returned to his home, Thomas sat down to write a letter to Lafayette.

My dearest Lafayette,

I am afraid that your brilliant scheme has come undone, turned to shambles by a poorly hidden letter and a hastily planned "business trip."

Your Alexander has discovered our scheme. He read the letters. He knows the truth.

I am not sure I know how to proceed.

I still love him. I still love Alexander. He came to my house after finding out the truth. Came with the intention of tearing me apart for decieving him. But when I started to cry, cry over how much I much I missed you and how much I wished I could bring you back, his attitude changed. He became so caring and sweet. He comforted me as I cried, let me cry without judging me.

Seeing this change in him made me love him more.

He spent the night in my house. He fell asleep on my couch. When he woke up he crawled into my bed and we lay together as we slept.

When we woke up the next morning and I saw him, when I saw him with sleepy eyes and messy hair and smudged make-up, my heart couldn't take it.

I love him so much. I love him as much as I loved James Madison, perhaps even more than I loved James.

I am unsure of how to proceed.

We have agreed to keep in touch, but I doubt we will ever become anything more than friends. I doubt he will want to date me, being as I impersonated his dead boyfriend for several months.

I am torn, my dearest Lafayette.

I wish you were here with me, wish you could make it all better with your humor and your wisdom and your beautiful accent.

I love you, my dearest Lafayette.

I miss you with every ounce of my being.

With a heavy heart and all the love in the world,

Thomas Jefferson