Living a Lie [Jamilton]

Chapter 4

Trigger warning: mentions of sex/sexual innuendos

This chapter is kind of sad and a whole mess I apologise. 

Thomas woke up in Alexander's bed.

The blanket had shifted, revealing Alex's bare chest.

Thomas' heart sunk as he remembered what had happened last night.

He couldn't deny the fact that he'd enjoyed it. Enjoyed it immensely, enjoyed it more than he cared to admit.

He felt so guilty.

Lafayette had died, and he was reaping the benefits of his boyfriend bedroom skills.

Essentially, reaping away the benefits of Lafayette's death.

Thomas shook his head, trying to make the guilt go away.

I'm so sorry, Lafayette.

Alex opened his beautiful brown eyes and rolled over to kiss Thomas on the mouth.

Thomas grinned and kissed him back.

"Good morning, love."

"Good morning, mon amour."

Thomas sat up and stretched his arms above his head.

"Are you feeling better, or do you want to go again?" Alex propped himself up on his elbow, smirking at Thomas like he wanted to take a bite of him.

Thomas' cheeks grew warm as he lay back down beside Alex.

I can see why Lafayette liked him so much.

The experience of the previous night had been quite interesting.

Thomas had not slept with anyone since he and James Madison had broken up, so this was definitely something he'd needed-something he'd perhaps needed far more urgently than he'd been willing to admit to himself.

It had taken a great deal of effort to conceal from Alex how long it had been since he'd done anything like that. He hoped that Alexander hadn't noticed, for that would lead to a lot of questions.

The most stressful part had been keeping up Lafayette's accent. His voice felt strained and he worried that his usual Southern accent had slipped out a bit.

"I am fine for now, my Alexander."

Alex wrapped his arms around Thomas' waist, gently kissing Thomas' neck.

"I can tell you missed me." Alex whispered against Thomas skin. "I can tell from the way you screamed my name last night."

Thomas growled and pulled Alex closer to him, running his hands down Alex's bare back.

It felt so good.

He hadn't been touched like this in so long.

He needed this. Need this so badly.

He needed Alex like he needed oxygen.

He needed-

Lafayette.

Thomas pulled away, his body stiffening as he realized what he was doing.

"Laff, what's wrong?" Alex's chocolate brown eyes were wide with concern.

"I... I have to use the bathroom." Thomas said, climbing out of bed and rushing into the bathroom.

He locked the door splashed some cold water in his face.