13 Deaths

Starved

-STARVED -  

 I've been here for a weeks, in this rented cottage in a remote part where hardly anyone comes in. Only connection with the world is my laptop, I am informing the followers about my crazy venture through it. I'm full of this decaying world, I am full of people, so I'm starving myself for a weeks.

 Our world is gone to hell, it's a sad fact. On one side you look at people who are working on something, on the other hand there are those who destroy it. Humanists who save a few lives, killers that destroy hundreds of them. Between the poorest and the richest man is enormous difference - one is fighting for existence, shouldn't even think of a happy future for himself, his family, his environment, and the other has so much money he will never use to restore faith to millions of people. Eh,people are such beings that they never have enough money. Indeed, I have always disdained luxurious things that have a crazy high price and they are functional as much as their cheap versions. Prestige? The hell with prestige. Are we so low as a race, is it such a good feeling to boast about some vain nonsense? I don't understand this human need. The clothes serves us not to go naked, the food serves to give us energy, the home serves to live in it. I like that I don't have a luxury home - why do I need a house that doesn't look like my personality but it's fancy arranged for some fancy people who would admire "my taste"? I prefer my rhapsody, I know that I don't have to behave like a kid in someone else's house. I may be stingy, but along with all these misfortunes I had to learn to save money. In the meantime, you realize that you don't need much in your life, and then you look around and see a bunch of snobs who boast of someone else's work or their suspicious jobs. There are exceptions, tho.

 You look around yourself -something that's insignificant to you to someone else means a lot or is too expensive in the other part of the world. Water is a great example- there's always enough of it here, on the other side of the planet they are paying a lot for it, or struggling whole day to find it, and the quality of the water is not satisfactory compared to our water. It is the same with food. My profession made me think about this topic many times. The food is being thrown every day (I'm talking about technologically, biologically and microbiologically good foods), many foods are consumed during the holiday season, even during a regular day- much more than human needs. In our country, in particular, people barely provide a decent nutritious meal, mainly on the table are white bread, soup, salad, meat products as salami or sausages, sweets and snacks, sugar water called juices. Compared to the countries in which a bunch of high-nutritional foods end up in a trashcan we are one decayed country. We have always been.

 Hungry children in Africa sound like a cliché story, but these kids are real. These who can handle it can find many pictures on the internet with children on whom all the ribs can be counted and all the bones through the skin can be seen. However, such children live everywhere. While a child at one end of the world throws his just bit chocolate bar into the trashcan, a child at the other end of the world haven't seen the candy for years. I would always remember that and I wouldn't allow food to waste, it is better to feed the animal than to throw food.

 I feel sorry for every little creature that the owner threw out onto the street, leaving it near the road where it will surely be killed by a car. My heart is aching when I remember that we had too many cats that we couldn't give to adoption, but we didn't left them while they were babies, we waited them to grow up a little before we let them in nature where they could have hunt a rodents. I don't know how are they now, I feel guilty when I think if they couldn't make it, I often worry about it. Since we lived near a dangerous road it was too hard to keep the animal and at home, that's what happens when someone in a populated suburb drives at a speed that would kill a man in the spot, let alone an animal.

 However, some owners go so far as to  abandon blind puppies and kittens, who would beg for help with their tiny voices. I hated that I can't save them all, I have too many animals and no one would want another one (if they wanted we would adopt some of ours, but it is difficult to find such a person.) To a bit older animals at least I could give a piece of pastry or something, if I had it. My pets have always been my friends, so I'm sorry for all those hungry, frostbitten, injured creatures .

 I could understand a person who can't support pets and let them, as we ourselves did, but I don't understand these sadistic creatures that are hurting animals. I still have a picture in my head of a dog to whom some monsters put a firecrackers in its mouths, or a polar bear to whom they did the same thing. What kind of person is this person who enjoys the harm of another being that didn't do anything to him? I wouldn't think of a punishment harsh enough for such insensitive people, besides them even me, the ice queen,seem as the most caring being on the planet. Many adults have lost empathy, so they don't teach children how to worry about others. Our world is falling apart and it will keep falling apart, nothing is worse than the insensitive bullies what the next generation are becoming. We are already witnesses of the end.

 On the one hand the world faces a disaster of civilization because there are six billion people on the planet, on the other hand a country like ours pays a lot attention on birth. I will skip participation in natality, but I will therefore give my contribution to mortality this year. When a woman in this kind of stupid conservative environment goes over certain age there comes a talking about marriage, offering a male people whom she haven't even seen in her life or heard about them for the first time (usually by the middle-aged women who know these men), embarrassing glances of appearance starts, then even more unpleasant conversations ... When a woman is married, she has to listen talks about having a child, as if it was ordered by law that every woman must give birth to a child. Damn it with their marriage, I don't remember someone who's happy to be married, at least of these I know in reality. I don't have the nerves to satisfy the "caring" people. Our society has too many desires and the only thing it gives is acceptance, so I don't care about their acceptance when I can't fulfill what they want to. I will fulfill my moral obligation not to kill someone else, that's my maximum. For the rest I don't guarantee.

 So much the inequality is in this world that it hurts. Why racism, nationalism, chauvinism and other synonyms for division, what has it brought us? Wars, destruction, blood and traumas? "Live and let others live" and not "live and kill these who disagree with you." People create wars- nature creates disasters, diseases, falling meteors and similar things, people create wars. Nature could take a break, we humans are worse towards one another than three tsunamis, two tornadoes, five active volcanoes, ten floods and one bigger meteor altogether. We are our own hell. We are fighting over of the beliefs that we have created, because of the borders that we have set , because of the problems we have made on our own. We are separated on black people, whites and asians (I'm not talking about scientific facts because the skin type is divided into Caucasian, Mongolian and Negroid type based on their characteristics, but about underestimating and insulting someone who has a different skin type ), forgetting that there are these who don't belong to either "white" or "black" or "yellow" side. It's like painting and mixing colors on a palette, everything is possible. We are equal, we are all living beings .

 There are so many things that left impression to me in this society, but I won't have time to write it all down. I leave the last post on social networks. Those were a hard weeks, I don't feel my body from a lack of food and water, and yet I am in pain. The followers are telling me to stop, but there is no stopping because it has already gone too far. I don't have much left, maybe I will die these days. Maybe some of these people will do their best to be better to our planet, to people, plants, animals. My soul will be satisfied if at least they tried, it wouldn't hurt them and it would mean to the planet.

 A few days later, as reported by one of the followers, the police found the place I was. Inside there was my cold, starved body on the couch, so they called the undertakers to take me.